Page 59 of Love and the Laws of Motion
“Ah, I see.You escaped.”
“I didn’tescape, exactly,” she lied.“I came to see if Clyde needed a hand.”At the moment, Clyde was watching the Jets game along with everybody else.He was hardly being run off his feet.
“Hey.”When she looked back at Nick, he leaned in closer.“You don’t need to keep lying to me.”
She scoffed softly and looked away.
He patted the stool next to his.“Sit.”
She sighed and climbed up on the stool.“It’s nothing.”
“Liar.”He only grinned when she flashed him an annoyed look.“How was dinner?”
“It was fine.”
“How was Teresa?”
“She’s nice.”
“Fine.Nice.Wow, you’re the master of exposition tonight.Now the truth, please.”
“Thatisthe truth.She’s very nice.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“She’s the first person Dad’s dated since Mom died.”
“Really?No one?Thirteen years is a long time to stay on the shelf.”
“No one,” Livie confirmed.“Not a single date in all these years.And now, out of nowhere, he’s really serious about Teresa.”
“I guess it would be hard, when you’ve had him to yourself for so long, to see someone new come into his life.”
“I’m not jealous,” she said defensively.“It’s more like...You know how I told you people don’t like me?”
“Hold up.Nobody dislikes you.They’re intimidated by you.But they don’t dislike you.”
“Whatever.None of that mattered, because my dad always did.He doesn’t understand any of my research or my work, but he asks questions, and he listens to me, even when he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.He cares, you know?”
“Ah.And no one else did.”
“I didn’t really care about not having friends as long as I had my sisters and my dad.”As soon as she said it out loud, though, something clicked in her brain, a revelation that had never before been apparent to her.She thought of Michiko, asking her to the departmental potluck, and Teresa, patiently trying to tease out any information at all about her as Livie repeatedly shut her down.Peopledidreach out to her.Shewas the one backing away.
The realization left her with an unpleasant sensation clawing at her insides, something that felt like a muddle of guilt, shame, and fear.Because realizing that about herself didn’t mean she knew how to fix it, or that she was brave enough to try.
Livie was clearly upset.Nick could see it in the hard set of her lips and her flat, expressionless eyes.When Liv was upset about something, she closed down, like steel gates lowering at Fort Knox.He nudged her elbow with his.“I can always tell when you’re thinking big thoughts.You get that look on your face.”
“It’s nothing.”
Thatwas a lie if he’d ever heard one.She didn’t want to tell him what she was thinking, so he hazarded a guess.“You won’t lose him, you know.”
“What?”
“Your dad.I mean, obviously I have my own complicated relationship with my parents—”
Livie snorted a laugh.“You mean the ones you haven’t seen since you were eighteen?”
“Shut up.We’re talking about your hang-ups, not mine.”
