Page 74 of Just Like This
Chapter Thirty
Garrett
If today was going tobe the day that I died, then I wanted to make sure I was nothing but honest with Cami before taking my last breath. Things were heating up, and we’d lost several troops from another unit in a roadside bombing, which meant all communication was down for almost a week after Skyping with Cami. There wasn’t even a way for me to bribe my buddies in communication for some computer time. When communication was finally up and running again, I left base almost immediately to scout. The roadside bombings were becoming all too frequent, and we needed to know who, what, when, and where. There wasn’t much time to read and respond to the almost daily emails from Cami.
Jackson knocked on my door and pushed it open before I could tell him to enter. “Are you ready? We need to leave right now.”
“Yeah. I’m just finishing an email to Cami.” I sent it, and before I closed out my browser, I quickly scanned the dozens of unopened emails waiting for me. From the subject lines, I could tell that her father wasn’t doing well. My heart ached to call her and provide the comfort that I knew she was craving from me. I wanted the same thing too. When I got back to camp and things were finally settled, I would read every email, then call her and explain. And then I would listen because I knew there would be a lot to say.
* * *
To:[emailprotected]
From:[emailprotected]
Subject: Fears
Cami—
You asked me once to share my fears with you, to trust you with them. Some of my fear comes with the nature of my job in the Army, but I can’t share any of that with you. I hate saying this, but it’s classified.
Here’s what I can share with you. I’m afraid to leave you. I’ve never been in love like this before. I’ve never cherished another person the way I cherish you. I’m afraid of never seeing your beautiful blue eyes again or feeling the softness of your lips against mine. I’m afraid of never holding you in my arms again. For once, I’m looking forward to the future because I know you will be in it. But what if that future ends during this deployment?
I’m also scared to leave my family behind. I need to make amends with my father, and after I’m out, I plan on doing just that. But what if I never get tell him how sorry I am? Or to ask for his forgiveness? I don’t even know Neil, my own brother. I missed out on him growing up. I want to get to know him. Oliver is about to have a second baby, whom I won’t get to meet if something happens.
For the first time, I’m scared shitless. But I have your love which gives me immense strength.
All of your emails are waiting for me, but I can’t read them right now because I’m about to leave. As selfish as this sounds, I don’t want to carry the weight of your grief with me into battle. But I know your messages are there, and when I get back, I will read and reply to every single one. And then I’ll call you, and you can tell me everything because I know you’re hurting right now. There are a dozen emails filled with your grief and pain, and I wish more than anything that I was there to carry you through all of this. I love you. Stay strong.
Love, G.
* * *
As I headedtoward the convoy, Jackson stopped me. “Can I talk to you for a second?” He looked worried, so I nodded.
“What’s up?” I asked him.
“I just got this,” he said, handing me a thick document. I flipped through it and saw the wordsmarriageandannulment.
“WHOA! What the fuck is this?” I continued to read what was clearly a petition for annulment. “I thought you said that nothing happened in Las Vegas.”
“I don’t remember getting married, though,” he said honestly. I shook my head; sometimes Jackson was a giant walking cliché.
“Well, obviously, you sign this and send it back so you don’t stay married to this woman.” I scanned the document for her name. “Allison Cochran.”
“But what if she’s hot? What if she’s amazing? What if she’s my Cami?”
“Do you seriously want to stay married to this woman while you’re over here? You have no idea who she even is! You don’t even remember getting married.”
“You have a point.”
“Why is she seeking an annulment anyway?”
“Fraud.”
“So she’s saying that you lied?”
“I don’t know, Garrett! This is all so confusing.”
