Page 38 of Just Like This
“Nope.”
“Well, that’s too bad.” Jackson took a long pull on his beer and stared at me for a few intense seconds. “You knew that Palmer was in love with her.”
“He never said anything,” I said defensively.
“But you knew, Garrett.”
I sighed. “Of course, I knew. Who couldn’t figure it out? But he always talked about her like she was some kind of little sister.”
“And you went after her anyway.”
I nodded. “Yes, Jackson. She wasn’t dating him or anyone else. Jesus.”
Before this conversation continued, I walked up to the bar and asked for a shot of bourbon. I downed it and immediately asked for a second. Beer was not strong enough for Jackson’s inquisition.
“Listen,” I said, slipping back into the dark booth. I sipped my second shot, savoring the burn as it slid down my throat. “If Palmer wanted her so badly, then he should have done something about it. But he didn’t.”
“That’s not the point, Garrett, and you know it.”
My fist slammed angrily down onto the table. “I know! I understand exactly what you’re saying, butyou’renot listening tome, Jackson. I couldn’t stop myself even if I tried. I’m in love with her.”
Jackson blew out a breath, and I looked up at him, shocked by my own admission. Wasn’t I just denying that I was in love? I picked up the remnants of my shot and downed it. Honesty tasted a lot better with alcohol.
“Damn, Garrett. Going back is going to be a bitch this time, isn’t it?”
“Yep. Going out to scout will feel different now.”
We sat in silence for a long while, drinking another round of beer. Scouting was just a part of my job, something I had to do, and I had always been willing to surrender my life for the men I led. I hadn’t yet thought about the effect Cami would have on my judgment, my focus, my priorities. Would I still be willing to risk my life for my men? Of course. I was their leader.
I pulled out my cell phone and opened up my messages. I wanted her to know before I left. I wanted to be honest with her.
ME: I’m in love with you.
ME: I’m not sorry I took you from Palmer.
ME: I promise to love you fiercely until I take my last breath.
“Whoa, dude.” Jackson’s voice startled me. I looked up from my phone to see him staring in horror at my phone. “Are you texting Cami?”
“Yeah,” I said. “She needs to know how I feel.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?” His eyes roamed around the empty bottles and shot glasses that now littered our table. We’d only gone through two rounds, but there were more than four bottles on the table.Fuck. How could I lose track like that?
“What if I die, Jackson? What if I die during our next scouting assignment, and she never even knows?”
Jackson held his hands up in mock surrender. “That’s heavy shit. I’m not going to get into that with you right now. But I am smart enough to tell you that you shouldn’t be texting a girl drunk.”
My phone buzzed in my hand. I didn’t want to open the messages because I didn’t want to be disappointed. Even drunk, I knew it was stupid to tell Cami I loved her. It buzzed again and again until Jackson reached forward and pulled it out of my hands.
“She’s worried about you. She wants to know where you are,” he informed me. “What’s this place called?” Jackson looked around the bar before finding its name. He typed out a message and then slid the phone across the tabletop to me. “Give me your keys.”
“What?”
“Cami is coming to get you. Give me your keys so I can head back to Palmer’s.”
Reluctantly, I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key. I handed them over as I muttered, “I’m not even that drunk.”
“You might not be that drunk, but you’re a little fucked up right now. Trust me, it’s better this way.”
