Page 24 of Halloween Hottie
“Trish,” I breathe out.
“When I’m gone, I don’t want you hanging onto me. I won’t be back. You need to move on. I want you to move on.”
“Are you actually saying you want me to get remarried?”
She nods. “Get remarried and have many, many children. I want you to get everything I couldn’t give you.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“You can and you will… for me. I’ll be watching over you, you know? Just like I always have.” She smiles. “I’m going to send you someone special. And when you find her, you’ll know she’s my gift to you.”
Tears fill my eyes, but I laugh. “How will I know?”
She shrugs. “You’ll just know. You’ll feel it. Maybe not at first, but the more you get to know her, the more you’ll know she’s yours. When she comes along, I want you to be ready to accept her. Don’t push her away. Don’t feel guilty about being happy. I’m setting you free, Jacob.”
I shake the memory from my head. I let her say what she needed to say, but I never believed any of it. I mean, how did she expect me to ever move on without her? She was the only woman I had ever loved. I knew that there was no one better than her. But that instant connection I had with Elizabeth last night, that confusing but tempting feeling, I’m now wondering if that was the feeling I was supposed to have. Did Trish send Elizabeth my way? Is she still watching over me like she promised? If she were, how would I feel about it?
It’s hard to answer all thesewhat-ifquestions. Truth is, it doesn’t matter. Not in the grand scheme of things. I vowed myself to her until death parts us, and death has parted us. If I don’t see myself following through with Elizabeth, it’s up to me. It won’t be because I feel I owe it to my dead wife.
I only have to answer one question before I’ll allow myself to call her: Are you ready to put yourself back out there?
I’m not sure, and I don’t know when I will be. Until I know something for sure, I won’t drag her into the mess that is my life. I won’t confuse her with my complicated emotions. I’ll work on myself and figure my shit out. If she’s still around when that happens, then…we’ll see where we stand.
It’s really the best I can do right now.
The Halloween party was a week ago, and I still haven’t made up my mind on whether or not I’m ready to get back into a relationship. Which means that I haven’t reached out to Elizabeth. But to be fair, she hasn’t reached out either. I know all I’m doing is buying myself a little more time, but I need to make a decision soon.
I’m sitting at my desk when my phone rings. I flip it over to view the screen and see Elizabeth’s name on the screen. I programmed her number so I couldn’t accidentally answer it if I wasn’t ready to talk. It’s been a week, and I’ve left her hanging this long. I know I need to answer it and talk to her, tell her what I’m going through, maybe explain as to why I haven’t reached out, but I freeze. I watch the phone ring while trying to think up an excuse. After a moment, the phone goes quiet.
She hung up.
Chapter Thirteen
ELIZABETH
His phone rings and rings but he never picks up. I can’t help but wonder if he simply missed the call on accident, or if he’s avoiding me. I hang up and toss the phone onto the couch beside me. It’s been a week since the party. I thought I’d hear from him by now.
My phone begins ringing, and I grab it quickly, answering it without checking the caller ID. “Hello?”
“Hey, bitch. What’s going on?” It’s Margo.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, nothing. What’s going on with you?”
She laughs. “You sound a little disappointed. Were you expecting a call from someone else?”
“No,” I lie. “Yes,” I spit out. “I don’t know. I just called Jake and he didn’t answer. I was hoping he was calling me back.”
“You haven’t talked to him since the party?”
“Nope, not a word,” I confess.
“Well, how about we go out and grab some dinner and drinks? Get your mind off it.”
“I don’t know,” I mumble, looking down at myself and my warm, comfy pajamas.
She laughs. “Oh come on. I bet you’re not doing anything anyway. You’re probably sitting in front of your TV or a book, still in your pajamas. Get up, shower, look hot, and let’s go to dinner.”
I let out a sigh. “Fine,” I agree.
