Page 16 of Mountain Man Crush
My chest is heaving from that kiss and my heart is racing like I’ve just ran a mile. My hands are shaking with anger. What is wrong with me? I told myself that I’d never move on. That it was the only way to protect myself from the pain and loss I felt when my wife passed away. And now, I’m about to sleep with my neighbor? I knew coming here was a bad idea. I should have stayed away. If I had, none of this would’ve happened. My curiosity got the best of me and I had to tempt myself.
I’ve tempted myself too far this time. I nearly crossed a line that can’t be uncrossed. Hell, I may already have. I don’t know and I won’t let myself find out. My life only works because I’m alone. I don’t need to subject anyone else to it.
I lay on the bed and put my arms above my head as I work to slow my breathing. After several long minutes, the rhythm is back to a healthier level and I close my eyes, trying to figure out how to undo what I’ve already done. I could blame the wine. I mean, it’s what started it all, but I don’t want to cop out either. I should just be honest with her. Tell her the truth.
It doesn’t take long before I’m falling asleep. I try to force them open instantly, only to find that it’s already morning. I stretch and turn my head, finding the clock on the bedside table lit up and flashing twelve o’clock. The power is back on. It’s time to go home. It couldn’t have picked a better moment.
My watch reads six A.M. My body is better than any alarm clock, and I stand and dress for the winter weather outside to make the ride home. I exit the bedroom and find Bethany asleep on the couch. I want to tell her goodbye, but slipping out is much easier and less awkward. I open the door and lock it behind me. Minutes later, I’m on my four-wheeler and riding home.
I hate myself for leaving her like that, but it really is for the best. I only hope that she understands that.
Chapter Eleven
BETHANY
Iwake in the morning and when I set up, I see that the lamp on my desk is on. The power is back! I toss a couple logs on the fire and look around the room, surprised that Jack isn’t up yet. Shrugging it off, I go for a shower. As I wash my hair, I see the night before play out before my eyes. I don’t know how we ended up kissing. All I know is that I enjoyed every minute of it, and he did too. Until he had his little mental freak out and ran away. I’m sure I’m the first person he’s kissed since his wife’s passing and that’s enough to scare anyone off. I don’t hold it against him in the slightest. I just hope we can pick back up today like nothing happened and maybe talk about it later when the awkwardness wears off.
With the power back on, I take my time in the bathroom, doing my hair and makeup like I usually do. I curl my long blonde hair and leave it hanging loose in soft curls that frame my face. The dark lashes and eyeliner make my green eyes seem even brighter, and I smile as I check my reflection. Going into my bedroom, I pull on a pair of skinny jeans and a sweater and go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I make pancakes, bacon, eggs, and hot tea. I set the table and make our plates.
I find it odd that he still hasn’t gotten up, so I walk to the bedroom door and knock on it. There’s no answer so I push it open and find it empty. The bed is made and everything looks untouched. It’s like he was never really here at all. Seeing that makes my heart drop to my stomach. I can’t believe he left. Why didn’t he say goodbye?
He’s running. He doesn’t want to face me after our kiss last night and the power back on gave him the permission he needed to leave. I march back into the kitchen and sit at the table alone. I stab my egg with my fork and bring it to my mouth, chewing as I watch the food on his plate grow cold.
I can let it slide that our relationship moved too fast for him last night, but I can’t let go of the fact that he just up and left without telling me. I sit and stew on it as I eat. When I finish, I toss his plate in the trash and clean up. I put all the food back into my fridge and log into my computer to get to work, but my mind won’t stop fixating on Jack and our time together.
I know we had something special and I think he knows it too. That’s why we kissed. The moment he pulled away was the moment he realized it. He knows we have a connection and he’s scared, but I’m not going to let him keep running from his problems.
I stand up and pull on my boots and coat. I head outside to find that his four-wheeler is gone. My car is only two-wheel drive and the roads are still covered in snow. There’s no way I can safely drive it anywhere without risking getting stuck. I cross my arms over my chest and start walking.
Even though the sun is out, the temps are still low, and the air is cold. I’m angry enough to ignore the numbness in my nose and toes. I keep walking and I don’t stop until I’m standing on his porch and knocking on his door.
He opens it and squints against the sun. He’s shirtless and is only wearing a loose-fitting pair of jeans that hang from his hips, showing off that V of muscle between his hips. I wet my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. What was I angry about?
“What are you doing here?” he asks, pulling me into his house. “Did you walk here?”
“Well, I couldn’t drive. The roads are still covered,” I say, motioning toward the road.
“You could have frozen, Bethany. What if you would’ve slipped and fallen? Who would’ve found you?”
“I’m fine. What I want to know is why you left without telling me?”
He rolls his eyes as he lets out a long breath. He pinches the bridge of his nose. “The power is back on. Why wouldn’t I leave?”
“Why didn’t you tell me goodbye? Why sneak out while I was sleeping?”
“I didn’t sneak. I walked right out the door.”
I shake my head. “You know what I mean. Why didn’t you tell me goodbye?”
His hand falls away from his face and he looks to the ceiling. “Bethany,” he breathes out my name. “I couldn’t, okay? After these last few days, after last night, I couldn’t face you.”
“Don’t push me away like you push everything else in your life away, Jack.”
His brows pull together. “What are you talking about?”
“The reason you live here all alone. The reason you never go into town or have any friendships or relationships, it’s all a way to protect yourself from feeling the loss you felt when your wife passed away. That’s exactly why you pulled away last night. It wasn’t a mistake and we both know it. We have something here, but before we can figure out how great it could be, you’ve got to stop running away. Stop running from me, Jack. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” I rush forward and press my lips to his. At first, they’re stiff and unrelenting, but then it’s like something inside of him breaks and the next thing I know, he’s pushing my back up against the door and kissing me with blinding passion that I can feel down to the tips of my toes.
As his lips slash against mine, his hands are pushing my coat over my shoulders until it falls into the floor. I pull off my gloves and hat and drop them before wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands are roaming my body, caressing my face, my neck, my arms and sides, down to my hips where they travel around to my ass. Once there, he squeezes and lifts me up against him like I weigh nothing. My legs wrap around his hips and he turns and starts down the hall.
