Page 58 of What She Deserves
“He was back to calling you Deshawn again.”
“That was a dig at me. When I turned eighteen, I changed my name to Rashad. A fresh start, and… I didn’t want any connection to my father. Rashad was the name of my football coach in high school. Greene was the last name of my foster parents—Joe and Suzanne, who moved to California. My father never liked that I’d changed my name, and by addressing the letter to Deshawn, he was reminding me of who I was, forcing me to face the fact that he was my father. He didn’t want me to forget.”
Rashad stood restlessly, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck. “Personality-wise, we’re nothing alike, by design. I became the anti-Chester, made sure I was the opposite of him—a serious, uptight loner. He hated women, I loved them. He flew under the radar and didn’t bring attention to himself. I wanted attention, was outgoing, and had lots of friends. I wanted to stand out.”
“Is your mother still alive?”
Rashad nodded. “I went through a period of being bitter and angry that she left me with him, but over time, it no longer mattered. Five years ago I found her in Alabama. I have a younger sister from her second marriage that ended in divorce.”
“What did she say?”
He shook his head, pursing his lips. “I never talked to her. Didn’t have the guts.”
Her heart broke. “You thought she would reject you.”
“Yeah,” he said quietly.
Layla studied her nails before asking, “Why didn’t you tell me all this before?”
Rashad shrugged carelessly. “You come from a good, upstanding family. Your parents are well-known attorneys. Your siblings all hold jobs in important professions—attorney, judge, politician. When people learn about my background, that will reflect negatively on you and could affect your family’s reputation.”
Layla stood up. “I disagree. If there is one thing people love, it’s the story of the underdog and how he overcame. You overcame a tough upbringing. You were on your own at sixteen, you put yourself through college, you have your own business, and you’re about to embark on another one. That’s what I would call a success. You’re a success story, Rashad. You turned out okay. Better than okay.”
He looked at her with stark confusion in his face. “I didn’t run around telling everybody my story, but I told Alex and Heather because I needed to tell someone. I needed to share the burden that I had been carrying by myself. They didn’t judge me, and we stayed friends. The three of us knew everything about each other because we didn’t have anyone else. Their understanding gave me a false sense of comfort. I believed that other people would be as understanding, and I shared my story with a woman I was involved with.
“I’ll never forget the look on her face. She didn’t express disgust or leave right away, but she definitely changed. I saw it in her eyes and the way she looked at me for the rest of the night. One of those emotions was fear, Layla. She became afraid of me, and that… that might have hurt more than anything else. Because that was my biggest fear, that when people saw me, they would see Chester Reddick too. She left early that night, and I never saw her again.”
“I’m sorry you went through that, but you’re not your father, and you shouldn’t have to pay for his crimes,” Layla said fiercely.
Brow furrowed, Rashad’s jaw tightened. “I don’t see the same emotions on your face. You’re still here.”
Layla moved closer but stopped when she noticed the tension in his body. “Why would I leave?”
“Aren’t you worried? You know the truth now. You’re not afraid of me? You’re not afraid of tarnishing your family’s name?”
She shrugged. “Nothing I know now changes my opinion of you. I love you, Rashad, and… I guess I’m not going anywhere. Everything I want is here. I’m all in…” Her voice trembled. “If you’ll have me.”
“If I’ll have you?” Rashad closed the gap between them and gently took her head between his hands. “I’ve always wanted you, but I’ve been so damn scared. That’s hard for me to admit. More than once Alex has called me out, and I’ve denied being afraid.” He finally smiled, a genuine one that didn’t necessarily filter into his eyes, but demonstrated that he was coming around. “When you asked about the name on the package, I panicked. Lying about my past had become a reflex, for self-preservation. Your question was the perfect opportunity to tell you everything, and I blew it. I’m sorry, sweetness. I just love you so damn much, I couldn’t risk losing you again. I’m not complete without you. So yes, I’ll have you. For as long as you’ll have me.”
She gave him a watery smile, stroking his jaw with her thumb. “Then you’re stuck with me indefinitely, Mr. Greene, because I’m not going anywhere.”
She raised up onto her toes and gently kissed his lips.
