Page 56 of What She Deserves
“He looked sad. I’ve never seen him like that before. I’ve seen Rashad upset, cocky, amused… Everything you can imagine. I’ve never ever seen him sad.” She didn’t want to care, but his appearance pulled at her heartstrings. She still loved him and couldn’t simply turn off her feelings like switching off a faucet.
She and her friends remained quiet for a while, and then Dana broke the silence.
“What do you want to do?”
Layla buried her face in her hands and let out a little scream. “I don’t know! I know that I don’t want to get back together with him, but I’m a little concerned about his appearance. He didn’t look well. He didn’t look like the Rashad I know.”
“Sounds like he might be going through a tough spell, possibly because he misses you…?” Dana suggested.
“And if he does? That’s not my fault. I’ve suffered, too, and I’m tired. I’m tired of being treated as if I’m not important, when he’s everything to me.” Her voice cracked, because simply talking about Rashad heightened her emotions. “Sometimes I feel like I’ll never get over him,” she said quietly.
Dana went over to the window sill and sat beside Layla. She put an arm across her shoulders. “You will. It takes time, that’s all.”
She nodded. Then she looked at Tamika. “You’re awfully quiet.”
“Because neither of you are going to like what I have to say.”
“Say what you’re thinking,” Layla said.
Tamika pursed her lips. “I think you should hear him out.”
Dana sighed dramatically.
Tamika set down her plate. “Look, I’ll be the first to admit that I never cared for Rashad when you got involved with him the first time. I thought he was too slick, too suave, and when you started dating Elijah, I considered him Rashad number two, which made me uneasy. With Rashad back in your life, and based on what you said a second ago, I think you should give him another chance. Maybe not for a relationship, but at least hear his explanation. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t.”
“I don’t know him, Tamika. His name’s not Rashad. What else is he hiding, and do I want to know?”
“Maybe, maybe not. He came here to tell you something, and it sounds like it’s the explanation you’ve been waiting for. Aren’t you at least curious to know what he has to say?”
“I don’t like this,” Dana muttered.
“Dana, I’m not suggesting she start screwing him again, but she should find out his reason for lying. If nothing else, for closure.”
Dana shook her head. “You guys know my policy. When I’m done with a man, I’m done. Closure is tricky. Closure will have you in his bed, on your back, with your legs wide open in the air, wondering how you got there.”
Tamika snorted, and Layla laughed at Dana’s pessimistic but vivid imagination.
“You laugh, but I’m serious. Forget closure and preserve your sanity. Rashad has shown you he hasn’t changed in all this time.Three years.What could he possibly say that would make a difference?”
“The fact that he’s different,” Tamika said. “Layla said so herself, that he opened up more and no longer wanted a casual relationship. Look, you can do whatever you want to do. We’re giving you conflicting advice, and you’ll have to make the final decision yourself. What would put your mind at ease? Forget closure. Call it whatever you want, but I don’t think you’ll be satisfied with simply cutting him off this time. Not now that you know he’s definitely keeping secrets, but is willing to open up and share what he didn’t before.”
Dana shrugged. “She’s right. Ultimately, the decision is yours. You know what I think, but whatever you decide, we’ll have your back.”
“Thanks,” Layla said gratefully. “I’ll think about it, but honestly, I’m leaning toward ignoring Rashad—or whatever his name is—and simply leaving things the way they are. As far as I’m concerned, nothing he could say would change my mind at this point. He’s had two chances and failed both times. It’s too late.”
Layla went over to the table and started making herself a plate.
She sincerely hoped she wasn’t lying to her friends… and to herself.
