Page 115 of Seasoned
“You want a child, but I don’t. There’s nothing to figure out.”
“So our timing is off again?” Jackie whispered, finding it difficult to speak over the hurt of rejection. Was she really losing him for a second time?
“Seems that way.”
They stood in silence, neither looking at the other. She didn’t know what to say, because she wasn’t changing her mind. She’d come too far—and she really, really wanted to be a parent.
For as long as she could remember, she’d concentrated on accruing accolades and piling up money in the bank. Voted most likely to succeed by her senior class. Graduating with honors from high school and college. She’d been SGA president, French club treasurer, and when she worked in retail—employee of the year. As a businesswoman she’d been profiled in magazines and interviewed on talk shows.
She spent so much time on her career and smashing goals that she missed out on marriage and having children. At her age, having a biological child was out of the question, but adoption was an option. She couldn’t walk away now. Not when she was so close.
“So there’s no real future for us.”
She dared to look at him and wished she hadn’t. The same emptiness that filled her heart was reflected in his eyes. There was no compromise with this type of difference. Someone had to give, and she knew he wouldn’t.
Tyson rubbed his palm up and down the back of his head. “I hate the sound of that. As far as I’m concerned, you are my future.”
“Except for one glaring issue—the fact that I want to adopt.”
He swallowed. “I don’t suppose there’s any chance…” He let the words trail off into the air, perhaps knowing that even as he formulated the sentence, his request would be unreasonable. “Kendrick and I are leaving for New York in a few days. That’s the other reason I wanted to stop by to see you, because I’ll be gone with him for a few weeks.”
“Adelaide’s daughter lives in New York. If you like, I could ask for her number and that’s someone you could touch base with when you get there, and Kendrick could have a friend in the city.” She sounded as devoid of emotion and lifeless as she felt.
“Thanks, I’d appreciate that, and I’m sure he will, too.”
Tyson remained still, and she didn’t move, either. After a while, she huffed a deep breath and said, “You should probably go now, and I need to get back to sorting through the photos of available children.”
He glanced at the food and the computer, but didn’t comment.
“Tyson.”
He nodded. “I heard you. It’s just…this feels so final. I don’t want to lose you from my life just because…I want us to stay in touch. At least until I get back, so we can talk some more.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know. I…never mind.” He pulled her into a hug, and she melted against his solid frame. “I love you.”
“I know. I love you, too.” Jackie wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed him tight. Nuzzling his neck, she breathed in his cologne and savored the moment in his arms.
His lips found hers, and he kissed her gently, softly, before releasing her with great reluctance. “I’ll call you when we get to New York.” His voice sounded thick with sadness.
Unable to speak, Jackie merely nodded.
She followed him to the door and waved goodbye as he exited. Then she shut the door and stood frozen on the threshold, her heart feeling as if it had been ripped in two and glued back together with all the rough, jagged edges exposed.
She squeezed her eyes shut, a futile attempt to contain the tears that nonetheless ran in rivulets onto her cheeks.
15
“Hi, Hector, I’m sorry to bother you guys at this hour, but is Adelaide here?” Jackie stood on the doorstep of her best friend’s house, light shining down on her like a beacon in the darkness.
“She is. Come on in.”
“Thanks,” she said gratefully.
She followed Hector into the den.
“She was just getting out of the shower. I’ll let her know you’re here. Can I get you anything to drink?”
