Page 49 of Shock Marriage for the Powerful Spaniard
‘Are you feeling all right?’ Sofia asked sharply. ‘If you have anything awkward to say to me then I’d rather you just come out and say it, although I can’t imagine there’s anything you could say that might bring on a fainting fit.’
She thought there was no place lower to where she could be tossed than the place she was currently occupying—a place where he would no longer be playing a part, leaving her to make her way forward on her own. She had thought that he would become dependent on her without realising it. She had failed to take into account that that was a plan that could work both ways and now, looking into an empty future, she realised thatshewas the one who had become increasingly dependent onhim.Shewas the one who now felt as though they should be a team and, left on her own, had no idea how she was going to cope.Shewas the one who had become vulnerable and defenceless in the long run.
‘Let’s go downstairs. Aside from anything else, I need a stiff drink.’
‘I want to pack and leave.’
‘Please, Sofia.’
She wavered and then nodded. ‘Okay, but...’
‘I get it. But I need you to hear me out. Please.’ He spun on his heels and made for the door, then down the stairs into the sitting room, which was a sanctuary of cool shades, deep-pile carpet and comfortable sofas. No leather or glass or chrome in sight.
‘Well?’ She folded her arms and stared at him as he prowled through the room before sinking into one of the chairs and crossing his legs. He nodded to her, indicating that she should do likewise, and after a few seconds she did.
Instead of picking up where he had left off, however, Rafael stood up, choosing to join her on the chair, which was a generous two-seater. He couldn’t keep still. She had never seen him like that, as though he was at odds with his body, restless, fidgety and uncomfortable in his skin. It was enough to get past the rational part of her that was telling her to clear off as fast as she could.
‘I don’t want to talk to you across the width of this room. And what I was saying... Sofia, my darling, I should have told you about Gemma.’
‘Wife number one?’
Darling? Did he just call me ‘darling’ or did I mishear?
Sofia wasn’t sure she wanted the details, now that there was a chance that she could be given them. In fact, she wanted to place her hand firmly over his beautiful mouth and stop him from telling her about the one and only love of his life. ‘You don’t have to tell me anything,’ she protested weakly.
‘I do,’ Rafael said flatly. ‘Because it seems that you’ve got hold of the wrong end of the stick.’ He sighed and she could tell that he was trying to work out what to say, how to express feelings, how to emote. For a man as resolutely private and tight-lipped as he was, this was a huge step, and she couldn’t stop the skip of hope that filtered through the barriers she had busily been erecting.
What if...? What if...? What if...?
Silence, again, seemed the best way forward. Silence and focusing on her hands, which were resting limply on her lap. That way, there was no danger of him reading anything in her eyes.
‘My parents...’ He smiled crookedly, his expression acknowledging that he was about to break the mould and go where he had never gone before. ‘They were unbelievably irresponsible. You know that, though, because you seem to know all there is to know about me. I must have been blind not to have seen the signs and that’s a very big one. But at the risk of boring you with repetition...’
‘You could never do that,’ she whispered under her breath, eyes finally locking to his, because she justhadto see his face,hadto try and gauge what he was thinking from his expression, which was as open as she had ever seen.
‘They couldn’t cope with having a kid and they were never really interested in trying. To their credit, they made sure not to have more than one, but my childhood was a peripatetic one. I wanted for nothing, because I was the product of two enormously wealthy families, but on an emotional level David was the only person ever to be there for me. Boarding school rescued me from a nomadic life but there were obvious downsides.’
He grimaced. ‘I learned to be independent from a very young age, to rely on no one. My parents flitted in and out of my life but by the time I hit my teens I knew better than to ever think that I could bank on them. Promises were made but never kept and anything and everything seemed a better option than being stuck with the grind of parental duties.’
Sofia wasn’t aware of reaching out to cover his hand with hers, nor was she aware of him allowing her hand to remain there, accepting the show of sympathy without biting sarcasm and instant rejection. Yes, over time David had confided, and without even realising it so had Rafael, but this was different. This was Rafaelcommunicatingon a level he had always sworn was beyond his reach.
‘By the time they died, I was completely self-sufficient but still young and suddenly I was in charge of what was left of their fortune. A great deal had been squandered, and investments had been made that had further drained the coffers, but I was rich and a target. Too young to be as cynical as I should have been. I was just in my early twenties and fell for a woman who was ten years older than me. I thought it was love. In retrospect, I was obviously searching for someone or something to take me through the bleak period after my parents died. Gemma slotted into that spot and she knew just how to stack the deck.’
Just the thought of Rafael imagining himself to be in love was hurtful and Sofia felt the muscles in her face stiffen and tense as she tried to control her expression.
‘How did you meet her?’ Sofia eventually asked.
‘She was a teacher—and don’t look so shocked. I’m not as shallow as you like to imagine. We met in a pub. She was there with a group of her friends and I was there on my own, staring down into a whisky, if memory serves me, and dwelling on a past I wished had been different. Dark thoughts.
‘She approached me. I was a regular there. I’ll never know if she asked Joe behind the bar who I was, or if it was just fortuitous, an opportunity that arose and one she couldn’t resist. Certainly afterwards I remember thinking that she’d sized me up pretty quickly...asked all the right questions...knew that I wasn’t just another kid who had to do weekend jobs to afford a pint on the weekend.’
‘You’re so cautious now...so guarded and defensive. It’s hard to imagine...’
‘That I was young enough to be stupid?’ He smiled. ‘I was. But she came with all the right qualities and she knew how to enhance them to her advantage. Compassionate, understanding and...hot. She was the archetypal teenage boy’s dream woman, and I was barely out of my teens and ripe for the picking, given what I was going through at the time. I never stopped to look any deeper than what I saw on the outside. David warned me, as it happens...’
‘He met her?’
‘Of course, and he told me that I should be careful, but I wisely chose to ignore his advice.’ Rafael looked at her ruefully. ‘To my cost. I married her and the whole sorry episode lasted under six months. Would have lasted longer and cost a lot more if David hadn’t taken it upon himself to have her comprehensively checked out.’
