Page 112 of The Singles Club
I cupped her cheek and swiped away a tear. “Listen to me. You don’t need all the answers now. If you want to do this, really try to do this, then we’ll figure it out along the waytogether, okay?”
She closed her eyes and nestled her face against my palm for a brief moment before taking my hand away and holding it in her lap. “You’re a good man. You know what you want: a wife and a family. And you’re going to be an incredible husband and father one day. I believe in you… the problem is…” She choked up a bit, letting out a shaky breath. “The problem is that I don’t believe in me. And that’s not fair to you.”
My eyes stung and my jaw clenched. Vivian caressed my cheek, and I closed my eyes, wanting to savor every millisecond of her touch before she took it away again. Her hands dropped into her lap. “I love you enough to know that the best thing I can do is let you go… because I don’t think I could bear it when I get on that plane to Paris and eventually break your heart. So please don’t make this harder for me than it already is. I’m not ready for all this.”
What she didn’t know was that my heart was already breaking, but I couldn’t tell her that. She didn’t need to carry that with her. My past was my own to deal with, and so was this. I swallowed back the pain in my throat, willing myself not to let one damn tear surface. “If you’re not ready, I understand. I won’t push you.” My voice came out close to a whisper from the tightness around my neck. “That’s the reason we did our trial in the first place. To make sure we were both ready to go all in.”
“Promise me you won’t give up on love. You deserve it.”
The ache in my chest intensified. “What about you?”
She half-shrugged, tears filling her eyes. “‘I’ll always have Paris.’”
“It’s ‘we.’”
“What?”
“The line fromCasablanca. It’s ‘We’llalways have Paris.’”
“Not for me.”
I turned away, inhaling a deep breath through my nose.
She reached out and touched my arm. “Promise me you won’t give up.”
Her eyes were pleading, like it would be all her fault if I did.
I forced a smile. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me… you take care ofyouand make that same promise for yourself.” I went to tuck a loose curl behind her ear but, instead, reached for the door handle. “I’ll take up your suitcase.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I’m not going to let you lug that thing up three flights, so no point in arguing this one.”
Every moment she was near me, every step of that damn staircase made it more excruciating. Thoughts and images I tried to push away surfaced, pricking my heart over and over again.
I’d never get to dance with her again.
Or hear that laugh that lifted me up no matter what doubts crept into my mind.
How she had convinced me to date again.
Love again.
Or feel that peace when I held her in my arms… and see that look on her face when my nephew smiled at her.
This woman came into my life over three weeks ago and spun it upside down, but I’d loved every minute of it… and now she was leaving.
We reached her landing, and I didn’t know how I was supposed to say goodbye.
I fucking hated goodbyes.
“Good luck in Paris,” I finally said and made my way back down the stairs without looking back once.
24
Closure
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