Page 71 of Submitting to Them
“That is fucked up,” Bash says.
“Yeah.”Kristin nudges some rice around on her plate with her chopsticks.“I don’t know who brought me food every morning—he always wore a mask.I thought that was a good thing, that if I never saw his face, it meant I had some hope of getting away.If I saw his face, it probably meant I would be killed.”
I can’t imagine living like that—and for a month, too.
“I’m so sorry,” Ella says.
With a little shrug, Kristin says, “Otherwise, I sat around.I tried to come up with an escape plan.Once, I even tried attacking the guy who brought my food.But as soon as I got close, he held up a gun, so I backed away again.He told me we were out in the middle of nowhere and even if I escaped the house, I wouldn’t be able to find my way back to San Esteban.I wasn’t sure if I believed him, but the place was really quiet—no traffic sounds, no neighbors.”She squeezes her eyes shut briefly.“It was a silent, unending nightmare.Every time I asked when I could go home, he told me I just needed to wait a little longer.Every time.But ‘a little longer’ kept getting further and further away.”
Her eyes fill with tears.Bash and I look at each other, unsure of what to do.Kristin’s a tough woman, and to see her undone like this, well, I freeze like a bunny rabbit facing down a wolf.
But sweet Ella scoots her chair back and goes around the table to put her arms around Kristin.
“I’m sorry,” Kristin says in a choked voice.“I think I needed to talk about this, but I’ve just dumped all my trauma on you, and that isn’t right.”
“We offered,” Ella says, rubbing Kristin’s shoulders and giving me a hard look.
“Yes, it’s perfectly okay,” I add.“We’re here to listen any time.And you should take as much time as you need before coming back to the office.Just in case you didn’t know that.”
“I do,” Kristin says.“Thanks.I think I should start heading home now.What can I do to help clean up?”
“Not a thing.”Bash stands and starts collecting plates.“I’ve got it covered.”
We say our goodbyes and Kristin leaves.Ella meets my gaze as soon as the elevator doors close.
“Are you all right, little one?”I ask her.
She nods.“I feel so bad for her, going through all of that.I’m glad she wasn’t abused—at least, not that she said.But I can’t even imagine sitting in that building for weeks on end, never knowing why, never knowing when she’d get to leave.”
We help Bash clear the table.As we work, I can’t help but allow the relief to hit me.Kristin’s okay, and Rayanne and Steve are in jail awaiting whatever faces them in the criminal justice system.
And Joel—Joel is gone.
I shouldn’t feel happy that my ex and her husband are put away and that my son is on the run.He’ll be found eventually.As soon as he runs out of money.I doubt he has the grit necessary to survive out in the world without his luxury items.
And at the same time, I’m relieved he’s not in police custody.He’s my son.It’s not that I want him to go free, it’s just my heart is so torn by the whole thing.
Ella comes over and takes my hand, lifts it to her lips, and kisses my knuckles.“Hey,” she says.“Whatever you’re feeling right now, it’s okay.It’s normal.”
I cup her cheeks in my hands.“I feel like an asshole.When I found out Joel got away…I was mad at him for taking part in all of this…but I was also relieved he wasn’t caught.Isn’t that fucked up?”
“Not at all.”She turns her head to the side and kisses my palm.
Itisfucked up, though, and I guess it shows that a father’s love isn’t always rational.
I still want the little fucker to meet justice—I want that more than I want him to evade it.But the softer parts of my heart grieve for the little boy I didn’t get to raise.
“Is there anything I can do to help you?”Ella asks.
I shake my head.I think I’m beyond help.
Sebastian
King is obviously feeling down after Kristin leaves.I don’t blame him.He offers to help with what little there is to clean up, but I wave him away.He goes into the living area and picks up a book, but every time I look over at him, he doesn’t appear to be reading.
Ella comes over to me while I’m loading dishes into the dishwasher.“Kingston’s unhappy,” she says in a quiet voice.
I nod.“It’s nothing to do with you, though, princess.He’ll get over it.”
