Page 26 of Submitting to Them
She wrinkles her nose.“Truly?”
“I don’t fuck around with music like that,” I say.“You’ve made the song into everything it deserves to be.It would be wrong for me to make up some weird ‘problem’ just so you can feel like you’re getting helpful feedback.”
“I dreamed you would say that,” she says, “but it’s almost too good to be true.But…but it feels so right.Like in my gut.I know this song is the best it can be.”
“I’m glad you’re seeing sense,” I say.“Let’s record it.”
“Record it?”
“Yeah.Video.You can upload it to your VideYou channel.”
“My channel?I don’t have a channel.”
I give her a pointed look.“Maybe it’s time you started one.You have a ton of content to perform, and you’re talented as fuck, Ella.When I first heard you sing, I knew it, and as you’ve practiced over the past few weeks, you’ve improved beyond my wildest imaginings.But I’m not going to pressure you into this.It’s totally up to you.”
She chews on her lip for a moment before saying, “Fuck it.You’re right.Let’s record it.”
I hold up my phone and record her as she sings the song again.It’s not a pro job—the recording—but with a voice and a song like Ella’s, pro quality isn’t going to matter.She’s going to shine no matter what.I make a mental note to investigate pricing for transforming my guest room into a studio.I could set up cameras so Ella could get different angles for her performances.There wouldn’t be a lot of space for accompaniment, but we could fit a drum set and there’d still be room for her at a keyboard and a guy—maybe me—with a guitar.
The plan takes shape while Ella sings, and I hold the camera steady although my heart is wildly beating with excitement.
When Ella’s song is finished, I send her the file.It should be up to her where and when she uploads it, if at all.Her eyes are shining with excitement, though, so I’m sure she’ll do it soon.
“Did it sound good?”she asks.
“Um, yes.”
“Are you sure?”
I give her a look.“Watch and listen to it, yourself, if you don’t believe me.”
“Not here.”She shakes her head, and her brown curls bounce in her ponytail.“I’m embarrassed for some reason.Take me home so we can listen there?I need to get some more clothes, too, if I’m staying with you tonight.Oh, crap, and I have that interview at Chez Michel.”
“Sure, princess.”I don’t love that she has an interview, but I’m not going to stop her from working an extra job if that’s really what she wants.I just wish she didn’t feel like she has to.
We go back to her place, and I wait patiently while Ella unlocks her door and lets us in.The apartment is tidy, but smells a little stale.She’s barely slept here in days.A part of me is fiercely proud of this for some reason—she prefers my place, and Kingston’s, to staying on her own.But it bothers me that her funds are tight and she’s still paying rent here.
I flop down on her couch, leaning against one of the armrests with one leg up and the other on the floor.I pat the cushion in front of me and say, “Relax against me, and we can watch together.”
She sits down, her soft, warm weight over my crotch and stomach.
When I hold up my phone to play the video, she covers her face.“I don’t know if I can do this…”
“You can, and you will.Watch.”
“It’s too weird.What if I hate it?”
“Then we’ll do another one later.”
I hitplayand tug her hands away from her face.“Shh.Watch and listen, princess.”
Despite my crude videography skills, it actually looks really good, and the sound quality is decent, thanks to modern technology.By the end of the song, Ella has relaxed against me, watching with a rapt expression.
“It’s…not bad,” she says.
“Psh.It’s fucking great.”
“I think I’m going to upload it.Right now.”
