Page 215 of The Surprise Play
I have to know why he might have to leave me, but I also need him to rest.
Worrying my lip, I gnaw on it until Wily softly reprimands me, “Stop that.”
He reaches out, brushing his thumb over my bottomlip, and I’m losing my battle with this wholehiding my panicthing.
Sucking in a shaky breath, I know I shouldn’t ask, but I have to. I selfishly have to know now or that panic is going to get the better of me.
“Why do you have to leave?”
His sigh is so heavy, I feel the weight off it smother me, pushing on my shoulders. They sink, curling in as I start gnawing on my lip again.
“There’s this… training camp I can probably get into.”
“Okay.” I nod.
“Dad’s really pushing for it.” Wily swallows. I watch his Adam’s apple bob, too afraid to look him in the eye in case I give something away. Something that might stop him from making the best choice for him. “It would mean dropping out of school and going straight to the camp. I’d do all of my recovery there, get myself fit for the next season. It’s probably my best shot at scoring a decent contract. Getting drafted with a good team.”
I nod, willing myself not to cry as I play with his fingers.
“I don’t know what to do,” he softly whispers, and my head jolts up.
My eyebrows dip in confusion; I can feel them furrowing as I give him a questioning frown. “What do you mean?”
Working his jaw to the side, he scratches his short whiskers. “I don’t want to leave you.”
Aw. My heart folds, turning to putty as I fight the urge to do the wrong thing.
“But Wily, you…”Say it. Don’t be a selfish bitch. Just say it!“You have to. This is your dream. Your goal. If it’s goingto help you get there, then…” My nose wrinkles, and I can’t help a short huff. “Sucks that you won’t be able to graduate, though. You deserve that too.”
He stares at me, and I will my gaze to cross over his. His eyes are so blue, so vibrant. “You know, before I met you, this would have been a no-brainer. But now…” His expression crumples. “Now, I’m torn.”
As much as I don’t want to say it, I force myself to be the bigger person. This isn’t about me and my needy self. I want him to pursue his dreams. I love him enough to encourage him in whatever he wants to do.
“It’s okay to leave me.” I reach for the necklace that I haven’t taken off since he clipped it around my neck. Holding up the coyote pendant, I force myself to smile. “You’ll always be with me. And I will only ever be a phone call away. If you want us to stay together, then we will.”
“Of course I want us to.” He lifts my hand, pressing it against his cheek and holding it there. “It would suck to live away from you, but I know you’re still my girl.”
“Yes, I am.” I smile, tears filling my eyes.
He swallows, pressing his lips against my wrist before running circles over my soft skin. His thumb is warm and comforting and… Why is he trying to comfort me? Shouldn’t I be the one doing all the soothing right now?
“Coyote,” I whisper. “It’s okay. It’s?—”
“It’s not the only reason I’m torn,” he mumbles, cutting me off without even noticing. He’s staring at his knee now, looking sweetly confused when he turns back to face me. “I’m hating the idea of dropping out of school.” He shrugs. “I want to graduate.”
“Then you should do that.” It’s so easy for me to jumpin with that encouragement. Of course I want him to graduate! Dropping out this close to the finish line is insane.
But I’m aware that I’m coming at this from a very different perspective than a football-obsessed offensive lineman.
He sighs, shaking his head. “Dad will hate that.”
I wince, my voice soft and breathy as I argue back. “It’s your life. The choice has to be yours.”
“I know.” He nods. “I just want both, you know? I want my original plan back.” His voice wobbles, then breaks as he glares at his knee. “Stupid fucking ACL.”
I stand up, resting my hand on his cheek and guiding him to face me. “It’s not a decision you have to make right this second, okay? You have time. Let’s just get you through this surgery, and then we can hash it out and you can settle on whatever feels best.”
His frown is pained and heartbreaking. “Both are gonna hurt.”
