Page 185 of The Surprise Play
“Oh, sweetie.” Mom’s crying full tears now, battling her own sobs as she quickly forgives me. “I don’t care about the outfit. I can make you another one.”
“But it took you months.”
“I loved every moment of it.” Her voice gets suddenly strong. “I was making it for you. Of course I loved doing it, and I will do it again without hesitation.”
I swipe away my tears with the back of my hand.
“What’s killing me most is that you got treated that way.” She huffs in anger. “Those girls! Wily must have been livid. What did he do? Is he there now?”
I go still, a cold ache blooming in my chest until it’s hurting every bone and muscle in my body.
I ache all over, my head pounding as I rub trembling fingers over my frown lines. “I’m at my dorm. Alone.”
“Why?”
“I was so humiliated. I didn’t want him to see me that way. He’s so…” My expression crumples, my throat swelling, making it impossible to speak.
“He’s so what?”
“So… perfect,” I squeak. “And I’m just me, you know? I’m just the fat, uncoordinated, socially awkward, completely uncool?—”
“Okay, stop talking,” Mom cuts me off, sniffing and swiping the tears off her face. “You are not sitting there telling me that you think he’s better than you.”
“But he is.”
“No! Elizabeth Satchwell!” Her voice gets firm. “You do not talk about my daughter that way. She is incredible!”
“You have to say that. You’re my mom,” I grumble.
“I say it because it’s true! And I’m not the only one who thinks that.” Pulling a Kleenex out of the box, she dabs at her cheeks. “Do you honestly believe that Wily would have gone to so much effort for you if he didn’t think you were worth it? He sees something in you that those… prissy, horrible, mean-spirited…she-devilswill never see! And it’s their loss, you know? They could have had a wonderful friend in you, and they missed out.”
She’s so firm, I don’t bother arguing with her.
“Bess, sweetie, I love you more than anyone ever could, but one of your greatest weaknesses is that you’ve always thought of others as better than yourself… and they’re really not. You are on an even playing field with the rest of the world.”
“Mom, I’m not.”
“Okay.” She nods. “You’re right. You are way above those scummy girls.”
I cringe and start rubbing my forehead again. “Mom, come on.”
“Please,” she begs me. “Please stop comparing yourself to people you don’t even want to be like.”
“But—”
“No, no.” Mom shakes her head. “Don’t sit there and tell me that you want to be skinny and always wearing the latest fashions and worrying constantly about your looks. You would feel awful about yourself if you went around harassing people. Do you honestly believe those girls are happy?”
She’s making so much sense that I can’t argue with her, but the stubborn part of me can’t admit it, so I just shrug.
“Wily doesn’t want someone like them. He wantsyou.”
“But he could do so much better.” The words slip out before I can stop them, and I curse my vulnerable condition for pulling my guard down.
Mom sighs like the words hurt her, and I wince, scratching my stomach and biting my lips together.
“Sweetheart, you’re the only one who’s convinced you don’t deserve good things. I have no idea why you do that.” She gazes at me through the screen, her eyes bright with conviction. “But you are worthy of all good things. You are worthy of a loving relationship. You are worthy of joy and happiness.”
I give her a weak smile.
