Page 51 of If Not for My Baby
In proof of the universe’s clear unfairness, Halloran is magnificent in the morning. He’s always beautiful—that Roman nose, strong jaw, thick brows—but beneath the early filtered sunlight, his scruffy beard shines with flecks of red. His cheeks are flushed with a good night’s sleep. His emerald eyes glow. I squeeze the towel tighter under my arms and feel my knees pinch.
He’s holding a muddle of clothes in one hand, and a glass of water, ice pack,andbottle of Advil in the other. I make note that those huge hands are even more useful than they are spectacular to look at.
“Thanks,” I say before taking the glass from him and gulping down the pills. I hold the ice pack to my elbow until the limb goes numb.
“Rhett only had clothes of his own. His wife’s back home in Tennessee.”
My eyes close—I think each of my teeth have headaches. What kind of country music star has a backup mansion in Philly anyway? Halloran leaves the clothes on the bed and sits down on the other side to pull on his high-tops.
Of my limited choices I opt for a thick oversized T-shirt that will make up for my lack of bra and a pair of loose boxers that I fold over twice like the cool girls did in middle school volleyball. I toss them on in the bathroom and, with no other options, slip back into Indy’s pink stilettos. I’m finally clothed, but at what cost?
Halloran’s still sitting on the bed when I come out. He looks up and his gaze sweeps across me, lingering a beat too long on my legs. The boxers are short and the heels are high. I look like a pole dancing instructor. When I cross one foot over the other he lets out a strangled breath.
“It’s atrocious, huh?”
He dodges the question. “How’re you feelin’?”
“Physically okay.” I shift on my feet. “My ego is bruised. Like my elbow.”
“Don’t fret over any of it, really.” His eyes are glued to my upper thighs. After a beat he says, “But we ought to go.”
“Is the bus downstairs?”
Halloran stands from the bed. “About that…”
More images of last night filter in, though they’re fuzzy-edged like the film was exposed to sunlight. Indy and Conor trying to get me to leave. My reluctance to listen. More shots. Halloran carrying me out to the street and finding the bus gone.
“Oh, God.” My legs grow weak. I missed the bus. Because I wastoo drunk. “I’m fired. I’m absolutely fired.”
I swivel around the room, teetering in my heels. Where is my phone? Surely I have a thousand furious texts from Lionel. Likely one curtyou’re doneemail from Jen. How on earth will I explain this to my mom? What will Halloran do tonight without—
“Wait.” My eyes slice to his. “Why are you here?”
“ ’Scuse me?”
My head throbs. “Why are you not in Portland? You have a show in…” I scan the room. No clock. No phone. “At seven. That’s got to be less than twelve hours from now.”
Halloran scratches his beard. “You weren’t in a right state to be left behind. Not on your own, at least.”
A feeling somewhere between roller-coaster thrill and nausea takes hold. “How did the bus leave without you?”
He presses his hand into his cheek in thought. I wonder if he’s not also concealing a bit of laughter. “It appears Salvatore also thinks me a perpetual dweller of bus enclaves. Didn’t know I was at the party.”
Fresh dread strikes me. “Jen is going to have him drawn and quartered.”
Now Halloran really does laugh. “Not to fear, the lad’s been spared. Jen thinks I told everyone to leave without me late last night. Rhett has a car we can take to Portland. If we go now, we’ll miss sound check, but we can make the show. It’ll be all right, I think.”
“Oh, thank God.” I exhale a thousand breaths in one. Then my mind snags on his phrasing. “We?”
Halloran’s mouth turns down in confusion.
“I’m fired,” I tell him. “Aren’t I?”
“You mean for drinking too much, hurling your guts, and missing your ride to a gig?” He’s not being mean. In fact, he’s amused.
It’s still all I can do to nod pitifully.
“You’re just a better rock star than I am.” His eyes gleam a little in the filtered morning light. “Conor told Jen I had a few too many and that you stuck around to keep me out of trouble.”
