Page 82 of If Not for My Baby
When Tom turns back around, he’s splitting a small foil packet with his teeth.
“Oh, thank God,” I say, and then yank him back onto the bed and crawl on top of him. His cock is as heavy as I remember, and just as long. When I take him in my small hand, and see how he leaks over me, hot and sticky, a fresh gush of wetness pulses between my legs at the memory of his come down my throat.
“What is it?” he asks, a little breathless. His lips brush gently over the skin of my shoulder.
“Want you.” My voice catches, and I swallow. “Now.”
Tom rolls the condom on and I move to slide down on top of him.
“You should lie down,” he says, quiet. “It’ll be easier.”
The thought is sobering. But not enough to spook me. I lay down as instructed and allow Tom to cage himself over me. He kisses my forehead and then my eyelids and then my mouth.
Slowly, he nudges the head of his cock into me…and there’s just not enough room for him.
“You’re big.”
A tight, clipped laugh. “Yeah.”
He moves my knee a little and I arch up to make it easier for him. He pushes in, and I hold my breath against the intrusion. The sensation of fullness is perfect—better than anything I could have fathomed—but also it’s only getting tighter and he’s not even halfway there.
His pale skin is flushed. “Am I hurting you?”
“No.” I shake my head, hair clinging to my neck with sweat. I brush my fingertips over his cheekbones. They’re taut with worry.
Another inch. It’s not painful, just very snug. A dull discomfort, as my body stretches to accommodate all of him inside of me. He drives in a fraction more and I can’t hide my wince.
Tom freezes. I can feel his muscles tense, his shoulders flexing under my hands. He moves to withdraw and I clench around him. “Don’t stop,” I beg. “I want to feel you.”
“Clementine.” He inhales sharply. “I’m fuckin’ splittin’ you in half.”
“I like it,” I say. “Keep going.”
Tom groans as if he’s being strung up on a medieval rack. I almost feel bad for him, but cannot bring myself to end this. When he pumps into me a bit deeper, I don’t even mean to cry out the way I do. He brushes his mouth over my wet lower lip in answer. “Shh.” He thrusts in just an inch more. “You’re okay.”
He keeps swirling his fingers over my clit, and tipping his cock up to hit that spot inside of me in little nudges and eventually I can feel myself loosening up. His eyes, and the warmth in them, help. His thumb grazes my upper arm as he holds himself over me, so careful, so dedicated to my pleasure, my comfort, and with all that rapturous evergreen—something blooms in my chest.
He’s seated fully in me, perhaps not to the hilt, but enough that I can hear the indecent, wet noise of ease. Tension flees my body and I wrap my legs around his back to sink him deeper.
“Careful, love,” he warns.
“I can take it.”
He leans down to groan against my throat and fucks me harder. His hand finds a fistful of my hair. He doesn’t pull, just holds it as he barrels into me. “Like that?” he asks against my sweat-misted skin.
It’s all I can do to nod.Just like that.
There is a liquid, burning heat blossoming low in my stomach, spilling out across my limbs. My fingers claw at the sheets, hoping it’ll anchor me to whatever plane we’re currently on. I’ve lost track. I’ve transcended.
“Not yet,” he says, his breathing heavy. I can’t tell if it’s a plea or a command.
“But I’m so close.”
Torturous, brutal bastard that he is, Tom stops his pounding completely until he’s just holding himself inside me, my walls clenching and clamping around him, pushing at the edge of my orgasm.
“I can’t watch you. I’ll—” He closes his eyes. “I don’t want it to end,” he admits. “I’d keep you in this bed…keep you like this, around me”—he flexes his hips just a little, as if it can’t be helped—“for days, if I could.”
“You can keep me however you’d like,” I tell him. It makes no sense, I know, but I can barely hold the words back. I want to tell him he can have every inch of me, every minute that I’ve got, for as long as he’d like. That I’ll move into this bed, in this West Village hotel, and sleep in these sheets for the rest of my life so long as he’s here with me, making me feel the way I do right now, the way I did all day by his side. The pressure that had been bubbling up inside of me is beginning to feel like a wave of raw emotion. My throat tightens as I tell him, “I’m yours.”
