Page 40 of A Reign of Roses
“You’re a full-blooded Fae. Of course you can.”
Desperation was clawing its way into my throat. “Is there anything else you can tell me? Anything you know of his plans?”
“Even if I somehowcouldhelp you flee the castle…you have no lighte, and this realm is a fucking hellscape. Earthquakes, thieves, beasts, harvesters…It’s a mess. Even if somehow you braved all that, the journey back to Evendell would take you months and you’dnever survive it alone. Nobody travels between realms without a portal anymore. And to find a powerful enough witch in these lands to open one up for you…there are probably only six or seven in the entire realm.”
Tears stung behind my eyes. “I cannot just give up.”
“That’s the wrong way to look at things.”
I must have made a face, because Amelia sighed before saying, “At least you’re alive, Arwen. There’s real power to be had at Lazarus’s side. You can still help people.”
“What are you saying?”
“You could change this realm, and Evendell, too, when he takes over. You’ll be queen consort.”
“I will not roll over and bemated withso I can have a meager slice of symbolic power.”
Amelia’s stern expression didn’t waver. “You’d get used to it.”
I recoiled. “Couldyou?”
“In some ways I did. For a while, at least.”
My stomach hollowed out with her implication.
“My father made it clear before I was grown that my value to him—to my kingdom—would be found between my legs. He spoke often and crudely of how I’d be married off to please a royal man one day. Of the children I would bear, and the security my union would bring our kingdom. I was a token. A piece of meat, for the majority of my life. Eventually I learned to live with it.”
Her voice was callous and detached but not even Amelia’s unfeeling exterior could hide the pain laid bare in her words. The shame and sadness there. Despite everything, my heart ached for her.
“I got used to telling myself that one day I’d inherit my father’s kingdom or my husband’s and would put mysymbolic powerto real use.”
I nodded, thinking of Powell. I’d told myself all kinds of things to make it through each lash of his belt. I’d survived, despite the pain and shame. It dawned on me that Amelia and I had both been thoroughly failed by the men who’d raised us.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. I’m just…” She sighed. “Trying to offer you the best advice I can.”
“Even if I could survive it…Lazarus already wishes to see all the mortals in Evendell exterminated. Once he has enough full-blooded Fae heirs, he’ll force them to repopulate both realms. Eventually he’ll have halflings killed, and then all other Fae that aren’t full-blooded, too. We can’t allow any of that to happen.” I took her cool, ring-stacked hand in mine. I’d been away too long—if Wyn had gone looking for me in the salon…I had to hurry. “You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. You’re tough and decisive. If there’s anything you can do, just try, all right? I believe in you.”
Amelia jerked back as if struck, wrenching her hand free from my grasp. “How can you say all that? After what I did to you?”
I pulled my mask back over my face. “We’re more powerful together than at odds.”
I turned to leave—
“Wait.” She grasped my arm. “If somehow you do get out of here…Will you tell your brother that…I’m sorry? That I never meant to use him?”
Ryder? What did he—
Oh,Stones.I’d told Ryder we were going to Hemlock Isle. Had he been the one to tell Amelia? I didn’t even know they spoke…
She didn’t wait for me to answer her before she said, “Good luck, Arwen.”
I didn’t look back at her icy eyes, covered once again by thatremarkable mask, as I dashed through the courtyard and back into the boisterous ball. Up the sprawling stairs, my heels clacking in time with the music, and down that bustling hallway, to the doors of the women’s salon.
No Wyn in sight.
Not good, not good—
