Page 60 of A Promise of Peridot
Scolded, Fedrik backed off, his eyes swimming with remorse.
I would feel awful about that later. But I couldn’t think right now. About anything other than the overwhelming, raging urge to be out of these caves andbreathingagain.
“You’re,” I said between heaves, “so harsh.” Another gasp. “With him.”
Kane chuckled roughly. “He deserves it.”
“He’s a kind person.” I gasped in more air. “Far kinder than you.”
“But isn’t it such fun to watch him writhe under my thumb?”
“So cruel. I can’t believe I ever tolerated you. Let alone kissed you.”
“I can’t believe it, either,” he said, still swirling his unhurried thumb against my palm. Then up and down my wrist. Up. Down. Massaging my fingers until my hand became jelly in his. “What was our worst kiss? Interrupted in Peridot?”
But I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to be unconscious. Anything but this—
“Alas, now that you’ve realized what a bad idea we were,” he continued, “I’ll have to go back to Amelia’s bed. I hope she’s kept it warm for me.”
Rage, bright and hot, swarmed in my vision.
“Good,” I spat. “You two fickle demons deserve one another.”
“She’s quite the demon, indeed. Sometimes I’d leave her bed with bite marks.”
“I hope she bites your head off.” My anger surprised me. So much so, I could barely think. I breathed in and out evenly to quellmy fury. So what if he was revolting? A revolting, nasty prick. He could do whatever he pleased.
Kane assessed me, eyes raking up and down my face, my throat, my chest. He held my wrist in his hand like it was the most fragile flower and pressed his thumb to my pulse.
“Ah,” he said. “Much better.”
And with that he stood and offered me his hand. “Come on.”
I shook my head. Had he— “Was that... like that first night in the cells?”
“Anxiety lives only in the mind. If your thoughts are elsewhere, you can’t panic. It used to work well for my brother.”
As soon as he said it, both our expressions shifted. My heart rate slowed further.
“You have a brother?” I placed my still-shaking hand in his and took another slow inhale.
“Had,” he said.
“I bring pain wherever I go. I hurt people. Often those I care about most.”
“They’re dead, Arwen. Because of me.”
My heart ached at the memory of us in my bedroom in Shadowhold.
“He used to dislike heights about as much as you dislike being confined.”
I wanted to know more, but it didn’t feel like the right time to probe him about his family. Not when I had just snapped at him over a woman he hadn’t slept with in years. And while, once again, he was helping me quell my panic. I didn’t know how to explain that my jealousy had more to do with me than with him or Amelia.
Kane spared me the attempt, pulling me from the ground with ease. We walked cautiously down the cool stone tunnel, followingafter the rest of the group. I inhaled slowly through my nose, even when the rustle of wings somewhere above us spurred my legs faster, and Kane kept pace in silence. I preferred the glowing yellow eyes or the strange carvings of symbols on the walls to any of the eerie sounds. I’d rather see whatever was lurking in the cave with us than be forced to imagine it.
When my breathing had truly calmed enough to speak, I peered up at him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
