Page 111 of A Promise of Peridot
I had been awake for at least ten minutes, keeping my eyes closed against Kane’s glorious, chiseled chest, not moving a single muscle—not my arms wrapped around him, nor my legs twined in his. If I stayed still enough, maybe I could pretend to sleep forever. And never have to face the reality that I wanted to be with Kane again, desperately, desperately,desperately.
I’d crawl over crushed glass to feel what I did last night. Not the pleasure—though that, too, was... world-shattering—but the moment I slipped into his bed and saw the look on his face. Surprise and lust and sheerrelief—that was what had permanently altered my mind. I’d never recover.
The problem was what happened now, in the harsh light of morning. The thought turned my stomach into twisted, angry knots. I reminded myself that all we had to do today was go to Crag’s Hollow and speak to Esme. I could tackle the war in my mind and heart once Mari was awake and able to tell me what to do.
“How much longer are you going to pretend to be asleep?”
I buried my face into his neck shamefully.
“I don’t mind, except that I’m starting to think you’re avoiding me.” He said it with a playful lilt, but an edge of desperation had crept in.
“How long have you been up?” I asked into his warm skin.
“Awhile.”
I angled my head up to meet his sparkling silver eyes and noticed the puffy bags underneath them. “Did you not sleep at all?”
“I had business to do early this morning. And last night I was a bit distracted,” he said, brushing my hair from my face. I pressed my cheek into his hand like a needy kitten. I wanted to lick his whole body. To take a bite out of him. He was like a feast and I was starving. I wondered if he’d let me suck on his fingers—
“What are you thinking?” he asked, arching a brow and running a hand through his tousled morning hair.Oh, Stones. Not morning hair. I was already contending with a tan bare chest, jaw like granite, and large masculine hands. I could not handle morning hair, too.
I clenched my legs together. “I’m thinking about breakfast,” I lied.
“Perhaps if you want to fuck breakfast, but I know your lusty eyes when I see them.”
I felt my cheeks heat from shame. Not for wanting him—needinghim—but rather that I had let him bring me to the brink of human pleasure and back last night, and hadn’t done anything for him in return.
“Fine.” I had come too far now to back down. “I was thinking of your wicked tongue.”
That earned me a slight grin, but his eyes were lacking their usual intensity.
My heart fell. “Not the answer you wanted?”
“That’s as good an answer as any man can hope for,” he deflected. “But we should get going.” He untangled me from his arms and stood from the bed, still in his breeches. He swept the room for his clothes. “I’m going to ask Griffin to stay here. It’s where he’d rather be, I think.”
I sat up and pulled the covers to my chest. Something was wrong. “You’re a good friend,” I said absently. My mind was racing. “He’ll appreciate that.”
Kane nodded. “Last night Briar told me Citrine is worried about Lazarus. Fedrik left for Shadowhold to meet with Lieutenant Eardley and get word to his parents. We’ll be back by evening, and can meet him there, if you want.”
“Fedrik left?”
Kane seemed to misunderstand whatever expression painted my face, and he cast his eyes down to thread the leather of his pant laces. “I’m sorry you missed him.”
“Is that what this is about? I told you I’m not with him, Kane. We barely kissed one time.”
Kane grimaced. “Gods, even still. I don’t particularly want to hear about it.”
“I don’t feel that way about him. I never did, and I told him as much. He’s just a friend.”
“All right.”
“So why are you not in this bed with me?” An attempt at sultry, but my voice came out petulant. I cringed.
When his eyes finally met mine, they crackled with intensity. “We have a lot to do today, and time is of the essence.”
I should have just gotten up. What kind of sex-addled lunatic begs somebody to be with them?Twiceif I were to count the way Ithrew myself at him last night. But the idea of Kane not wanting me at all anymore, after last night, was gut-wrenching.
Emboldened by the memories of Kane’s hands wrapped around my thighs, I sat up on my knees and slipped the straps of my nightdress off my shoulders.
