Page 47 of A Promise of Peridot
“Sorry. Team’s all full. Better luck next time.” There was no world, no reality, where I brought this imbecile along with us so he could insult me and ogle Arwen for the next few days.
“You’d be wise not to fight me on this one, King. Even your advisor Sir Dagan agreed to my joining the expedition. Despite your clear lack of morals and piss-poor personality, you and I actually want the same thing.”
I would have some very choice words for the old swordsman when I returned. “And what might that be?”
“Without our army you have no shot against Lazarus, and if you lose, we all do.”
“Your parents will not risk their people, nor their resources.”
“If I deliver the blade to my parents, it’ll be hard for them to argue against the odds. They only want to know our win is assured.”
“Broderick and Isolde don’t think I’m capable of retrieving the sword myself?”
“Their words were more along the lines of, ‘We don’t trust him for shit.’ ”
Arwen’s melodic, playful laugh and the bright smile he shot her in return made me feel insane. But he could have told his parents what I’d done last night. And he hadn’t. If he thought there was a chance they could be convinced to utilize their armies on our behalf, I couldn’t refuse him. “Fine. It’s going to be a miserable journey. I hope you like to get your hands dirty.”
Fedrik grinned. “I’ll fare all right, though I’m touched by your concern, King Ravenwood.”
“Kane’s fine.”
“I reserve that kind of familiarity for people I actually like.”
And with that he strode forward, sidling up next to Mari and Griffin, leaving Arwen and me alone in the sand.
A mischievous glint sparkled in her eyes as she said, “This is going to be great fun.”
?We flew through the night until we reached Peridot. What had taken eleven days by tumultuous sea took Griffin and me only one evening in the silent skies.
The trip gave me a chance to clear my head—as flying often did. This... jealousy... was new to me. When Arwen once harbored feelings for Halden, it had been rage bellowing through my bones. I knew he was a murderer, a liar, a manipulator. I would have rather had anyone else be the object of her affections. I would have rather had it be fucking Barney.
But this wasn’t that same icy, slithering thing that bit through me then. Familiar, from when my father abused his own people. Or when I had been betrayed by those closest to me, or defeated by them. Not that same temper that was always right there under the surface of my skin, snarling and begging to be set free so I could demolish and destroy.
No, though I had imagined crippling Fedrik a thousand different ways, each more creative than the last, none felt remotely satisfying. And not because I didn’t truly wish to injure the prince—I really,reallydid. But because this wasn’t rage at all—it wasgrief.
I would not be able to endure her with someone else. I wasn’t strong enough. I had never been strong enough to lose her.
And even if it wasn’t him pursuing Arwen, that’s exactly what would happen. She was beautiful beyond comprehension, fiercely loyal and compassionate, and had the biggest heart of anyone I had ever met. As long as she lived, there would be no shortage of men who wished to be with her, and eventually she would reciprocate those wishes.
What mattered now was not what those thoughts did to me, but finding a way to give her a chance at actually making such a life with someone.
To take my mind off the mountain of odds stacked against my success, and the pain I’d feel regardless of whether I succeeded, Ithought of Shadowhold, and how pleasant it would be to return one day. I had been away too long already, and missed the keep terribly.
Not just Acorn or my dusty library or my quiet study with my childhood chess set.
Not just the ample silence, the way nobody spoke to me unless I wished them to, or the peculiar majesty of the Shadow Woods.
I missed the feeling of beinghome.
Once we were soaring over enemy territory, we swooped low, flitting through the humid tree cover to avoid any prying eyes or watchtowers. The blanket of night helped, too, but day was breaking, and now that Peridot was overrun by Gareth’s men, we couldn’t risk the Amber soldiers seeing us. It was time to shed our creature-forms.
I swung my tail toward Griffin to signal our descent.
We landed amid a deep, shadow-shrouded jungle. Even though the sun was rising, the trees above were so dense they swallowed up nearly all the dawn light. The air was wet, and each breath felt like steam in my lungs. If it was this humid in the early morning, I shuddered to imagine what the unfiltered afternoon sun would bring. My claws squelched against an equally damp forest floor covered in tangled vines and emerald moss.
Arwen and Mari had been sleeping, but landing shook them awake and they dismounted still cloaked in a thick layer of slumber. Fedrik tramped onto the muddy ground as well before Griffin and I shifted back, grateful for the spells from childhood that kept our clothing intact.
“Where are we?” Mari asked.
