Page 84 of The Promise of Jenny Jones
“You think I don’t?” Ellen laughed before her face sobered. “You won’t tell a lie to save your own hide… but you’ll lie to spare a child’s feelings?” She smiled across the table and spoke softly. “I know you, all right. You have a heart as big as your courage, and you love that little gal upstairs.”
Jenny gazed into her tumbler. “I have to leave. Tomorrow.” The words fell out of her mouth, pushed by the pain of liking Ty’s mother, of sitting at a table where he had sat. He had walked through these rooms, maybe used this glass. Everywhere she looked, her heart saw him. And Graciela.
“Honey, I know you want to put things behind you and move on. And I know a clean cut hurts the least. But that little girl don’t know that. And that little girl still needs you. So I’m asking you to stay a while until she don’t feel she’s surrounded by strangers.” She reached to cover Jenny’s hand. “Saying good-bye isn’t going to hurt less a month from now than it will tomorrow.”
Jenny thought about it, then nodded reluctantly. “I guess you’re right. And I promised Ty I’d wait a month.” Tilting her head back, she gazed at the ceiling and blinked at moisture swimming in her eyes. “But it’s so hard.”
“Loving is, honey. Loving is.”
She made herself useful by helping with the wash and cooking, and she surprised Grizzly Bill and the boys during branding week by working as hard and as well as a man. She put up jelly, made pickles, joined Ellen at the mending basket.
And slowly she withdrew from Graciela.
Now it was Ellen who listened as Graciela chattered through her nightly bath. And it was Ellen or Robert who heard her prayers and tucked her in at night. During the day, Jenny made certain there were always others present, and they weren’t alone together. It hurt that Graciela didn’t appear to notice.
One day, thinking she could bear it now, she borrowed a horse and rode to Ty’s house. The house was silent and boarded up, but the clean strong lines reminded her of him. This was the house he had chosen and built for himself. She sensed him here.
Sinking to the porch steps, she gazed out at the land Ty had ridden and loved, opened herself to the air he had breathed, and finally she let herself grieve. A tear spilled down her cheek, then she covered her face in her hands and sobbed as she had not sobbed since childhood, not since her favorite brother had drowned in the lake. She wept for Ty, and for herself, and for dreams that had died before being born.
Stumbling, she reeled about the yard, shouting fury at the sky, dashing tears from her eyes and screaming her pain for God’s ears. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. He should have lived.
Eventually she returned to the porch steps and sat there, rocking in anguish, remembering every word Ty had spoken to her, every small gesture he had made. In agony, she recalled every detail of the night they had spent together, the long kisses and feverish caresses, the whispered words, the soft laughter.
Despite everything, during the long days of silence with no word from him, a tiny corner of her heart had continued to hope. That was what hurt the most, that little flame of hope when there was no hope. Today, she tried to kill it. It got smaller, but her hope was as stubborn as she was. It wouldn’t die entirely.
At the end of the long afternoon she returned to the ranch house with reddened swollen eyes and trembling lips. Ellen studied her then gently touched her arm. “Did it help?”
“No.”
“Jenny? Would you ride with me today? Jake’s been teaching me. You’ll be surprised how well I can ride now. All by myself!”
“Good idea,” Ellen agreed before Jenny could think of an excuse. “That will get you both out of my hair while I finish these pies.”
“There’s someplace I want to go,” Graciela confided, lowering her voice.
“Oh? Where’s that?” Removing her apron, she hung it on a peg.
Graciela slid a look toward Ellen bustling around the kitchen. “It’s a secret. I’ll tell you later.”
“Give me a minute. I’ll change into riding duds.”
“No, what you’re wearing is fine. All you need is a hat.”
Jake, whom Graciela had firmly wrapped around her little finger, had the horses saddled and waiting. “Pretty sure of yourself, weren’t you?” Jenny asked, swinging up into a lady’s saddle with a frown. She could ride sidesaddle, but she hated it. “All right. What’s the secret and the big rush? Where are we going?”
Once they reached the main road and Graciela reined her pony to the right, Jenny figured it out. “Wait a minute. Hold up there, kid.” She leveled a stare at Graciela’s flushed face. “Do you think we’re going to just ride up to Don Antonio Barrancas’s place without an invitation or a by-your-leave?”
“He’s my grandpa.”
“Yeah, well he isn’t beating a path to your door to acknowledge that fact, now is he?”
Graciela tossed her head. “Maybe he doesn’t know I’m here.”
“After three weeks? If even I have heard about Don Antonio’s new stud bull, then you can bet your butt that he’s heard about you. News travels fast around here.”
Graciela gave her the superior schoolmarm look. “I want to meet my grandpa Barrancas. I know the way to his ranch, Jake told me. But I’m afraid to go by myself.”
Jenny considered. She knew Robert and Ellen would disapprove, but… why not? Maybe it was time Don Antonio met his granddaughter. Plus, as hardheaded as Graciela could be, the kid would go there sooner or later regardless of instructions to the contrary. Better that she went with a champion at her side. Reluctantly, Jenny moved her borrowed horse up beside Graciela’s pony.
