Page 97 of Silver Lining
She believed nothing had changed between them. There wasn't a doubt in her expression or her gaze.
"I'm not going anywhere." He spoke softly, gently. Once she had been important to him. Once he had held her and believed he loved her.
"Don't tease, I'm upset enough. My father will only speak to me through his attorney. The day after tomorrow Wally is leaving for Santa Fe . Your mother scarcely talks to me, and she's been rude twice.
Gilly avoids me. None of my friends or acquaintances will call. I need you."
"You don't need me, Philadelphia . Whatever was between us has been over for a long time." They had never needed each other, had never understood each other. "If we had married, it would have been a mistake."
"I don't know how you can say that, because you're wrong. I love you, Max. And you love me."
"You're mistaken on both counts."
Her gaze flicked to something behind him, then she rushed forward and pressed against his body, lifting her hands to his face. "Kiss me and then tell me you don't love me. If you can."
Confidence sparkled in her eyes before her lids closed and her arms wrapped around his neck. She pulled his head down and lifted on tiptoe to kiss him.
And as he'd expected, he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Placing his hands on her waist, he moved her away from his chest and hips. "Go home," he said quietly.
"You have a good husband who wants to love you. I genuinely believe you could be happy with Wally if you'll give him and your marriage a chance."
"I don't want Wally. Why do you think I'm willing to endure the scandal of a divorce? It's because I wantyou!" She stamped her foot, and her eyes flashed.
He almost smiled because he knew her well enough to know that once she understood he wouldn't follow her to Fort Laramie , she would stay with Wally rather than open herself to more scandal. With a bit of luck, she and Wally could create a satisfactory marriage, maybe even a happy one.
"Listen to me," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking into her eyes. There was no way to soften the blunt truth, but he tried by speaking in a gentle tone. "I don't love you, Philadelphia , and I don't want to marry you. I love Louise." He touched her cheek with his fingertips. "Louise is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and every day I thank God for giving me such a blessing. I hope one day you'll say the same thing about Wally."
She jerked backward as if he had struck her. "You're telling me that you love that creature?"
"With all my heart," he said simply. He'd known it for a long while, but this was the first time he'd tested the words on his tongue. A grin curved his lips. Now that he'd stated his love aloud, he wanted to shout it from the barn roof.
"I don't believe this! You're advising me to remain married to your brother?"
"I have no right to advise you, and whatever you decide is none of my business. But … do you really want to exchange a man who loves you for the shame and disgrace of a divorce?"
"I don't want to stay with Wally. He's changed. He isn't as easy to manage as I thought he would be!"
Max smiled at her expression. "That's exactly the kind of man you need." Any small doubt faded. She would accompany Wally to Santa Fe . And Wally would provide the challenge she couldn't admit she wanted and needed. Theirs would be a volatile union, a constant struggle for control. But he suspected Philadelphia and his brother would find such a marriage stimulating and exciting.
Taking her arm, eager to send her on her way, he turned her toward the doorway, intending to walk her to her horse. "Gilly!" At once, he knew his sister had seen and overheard most of what had happened in the last few minutes. And she wouldn't have come to the barn alone. He swung a quick frown toward the house.
"For a bad minute, Max, I thought you'd turned stupid." Anger burned in the scorn Gilly leveled on Philadelphia . "And you dared to judge Louise. You don't know the meaning of decency!"
"Where is she?" His stomach cramped, and his hands curled into fists. He knew what Louise would think if she'd seen Philadelphia in his arms. Damn it.
"By now I imagine she's left you and is on her way to Denver ."
Breaking into a run, he raced toward the house. Surely Louise understood that Philadelphia 's kiss didn't mean anything.
His chest tightened around a kernel of panic. Curse his hide, he hadn't told her that he loved her. He'd been waiting for her to say it first, too proud to lay his heart on the line until she did.
But she had to know, didn't she? She was angry and hurt by seeing Philadelphia kissing him. But she wouldn't up and leave him. She'd at least give him a chance to explain.
He strode through the mudroom door and went straight to the parlor. His heart sank.
Her silver spoon was gone. She wasn't coming back.
