Page 95 of Silver Lining
"Or," he said, meeting her gaze, "since I entered into this marriage based on a false premise, I can divorce you. Your father made it clear that the offer in Santa Fe is firm whether or not you and I remain married."
She would speak to her father aboutthat.
"Everyone seems to believe that I should divorce you. But I've thought about it, and that isn't what I want. I think you and I can make a fresh start. I think we could learn to love each other. But you may not agree; you may wish to regain your freedom. Therefore, I leave the choice to you. If you prefer a divorce, I won't object if you go to Wyoming and begin proceedings. You can claim that I've deserted you. Or you can come to Santa Fe with me, and we'll start over."
Of course it was her choice. And she had already decided what she and Max would do.
"If you choose to come to Santa Fe , then we need to set down some ground rules. We will never discuss this period of our lives again. I don't want to know who the man was or why you became pregnant by him. That's behind us and forgotten."
He looked down at his thumb stroking the back of her hand. "We will not have separate bedrooms. We will always dine together. We will visit your father and my family twice a year, and they will always be welcome in my home. That includes my brother and his wife, whom you will treat with respect."
"Do you have other demands?" she asked coldly.
"Very likely I will. If you can't abide by a few simple rules or if you can't take no for an answer, then go to Wyoming ." He shrugged and gazed at her. "You're selfish and self-centered, Philadelphia . Capable of cunning and deceit if it serves your purpose. I don't know why I think I could love you or why I find you challenging. But I do."
"No one speaks to me like that!"
Standing, he gazed down at her. "I don't expect you to make up your mind immediately. I won't be leaving for Santa Fe until the end of the month. You have until then to decide what you want to do."
"I can tell you right now!"
"I don't want to hear it now. I want you to think about everything, and be sure. Seems to me that you need to choose between making our marriage a real one, or facing the scandal of a divorce."
The word "scandal" gave her pause. He was right, of course. A divorce would finish her if she wasn't ruined already. Clearly, she could not remain in Fort Houser . But that didn't matter. She and Max would start over in some place new and fresh.
No one came to sit with her after Wally left. If she listened hard, she could hear faint sounds of conversation drifting from the kitchen, but the distance was too great to make out words. They were probably talking about her. Criticizing her. Making it sound like everything that had happened was her fault.
A genuine tear trickled down her cheek, followed by another. There hadn't been a choice. Anyone would have done what she did.
Max would understand. He just needed a little time.
CHAPTER 21
«^
It seemed to Louise that a weight had lifted from Max's shoulders and left him so light of foot that a spring appeared in his step. After a week of moody silence, he became a different person. For the last two weeks, he had whistled in the mornings on his way to the barn. He seemed easier in his mind and didn't lose his temper with the new hands even when Louise thought he should have.
When she asked why he hadn't jumped Merdock's butt the morning Merdock slept late, Max had just shrugged and explained he was so grateful to have the boys back that he didn't care if Merdock was late getting to work. Then he'd laughed and predicted his attitude would change, but right now he thanked heaven that the bunkhouse was full. And he thanked God that Louise no longer had to labor like a hired hand.
Tears had sprung into her eyes, and she had rushed from the room because she understood what he was saying. He didn't need her anymore. And now that Philadelphia 's pregnancy had been resolved, old doors had opened. New options were possible.
It was time for Louise to leave.
Though it made her feel foolish to think about it now, for a while she had hoped they might forget about their agreement. Just set it aside. They got along well; they had fallen into a comfortable routine that seemed to suit them both. To her amusement and amazement, she had turned into a real wife and secretly liked caring for a house and a husband.
And the nights. How she loved the nights when they read together in bed, shoulders touching, sharing bits from his book and her songbook. That's where they discussed the important things, the events or emotions they didn't share with others. And that's where he reached for her and slid her new nightgown up to her hips and kissed her until she was dizzy with loving him and wanting him.
But reality had slapped her hard the day of Philadelphia 's labor. She had gazed into Max's eyes and saw a reflection of the woman he loved, and it wasn't her. She had listened to Philadelphia 's threat to take Max away, and she'd felt the bitter sting of truth.
Oh Lord, she was crying again. And Gilly would be here any minute. In fact, she thought she'd seen Gilly ride in, but Gilly wouldn't have gone directly to the barn. Livvy must have come to speak to Max.
Today she and Gilly were going into town to choose birthday gifts for Sunshine. They had decided Sunshine should have at least one or two store-bought gifts. Perhaps an embroidery hoop, maybe new Sunday shoes.
"Louise?"
"Come in." Grabbing a dish towel, she wiped her eyes and shouted toward the front door. "I'm in the kitchen."
Smelling of fresh, cold air and the light verbena scent she favored, Gilly bustled down the hallway and straight to the coffeepot hissing and bubbling on the back of the stove. "Mama's watching Sunshine so you and I are footloose and fancy-free today." She smiled. "Your wagon's out front, but I don't think the horses would mind if we have a cup of hot coffee before we leave."
