Page 93 of Silver Lining
" Philadelphia ?" Gilly's soft voice called from the side of the bed. "Are you awake? Here, let me help you sit up."
"Oh!" Pain radiated through her body. Every stiff, sore muscle protested the slightest movement. She must have bruises all over, and her wrist and ankle hurt. Her bottom ached with a dull pain that would remind her for several days of yesterday's ordeal. "May I have my mirror, please? It's on the vanity."
Gilly fetched the mirror, but Philadelphia wasn't sure she had the courage to look. First she sipped a glass of water. Then she smoothed back her hair and explored her swollen left eye with her fingertips.
Finally she raised the mirror and gazed into the glass. A long shudder passed down her spine. Her eyelid was the worst, black and purple and more puffy than her fingertips had told her. A raw gash cut across her forehead from eyebrow to hairline, and a large bruise covered most of her jaw. She hadn't knocked out any teeth, thank heaven, nor had she broken her nose, a possibility that had worried her for several days. She had been very fortunate, but then, she usually was.
Slowly, her pulse calmed. Her injuries were minor and would heal. In the meantime, the cuts, bruises, and her black eye would garner sympathy.
Gilly sat down beside her. "When you feel up to it …" She cleared her throat and studied her hands.
"Everyone wants to speak to you."
"I'd like to wash my teeth and brush my hair."
"While you're seeing to your toilette, I'll bring you coffee. Or would you prefer chocolate? You can have toast but no other solid food until the day after tomorrow. I made some chicken broth yesterday. Should I bring you—"
"Just the hot chocolate." Sudden hope flared. The way Gilly prattled on made Philadelphia wonder if perhaps Dr. Pope had not betrayed her after all. "The baby died," she said, testing the waters as Gilly stood.
"Yes. Here's your hairbrush and your tooth powder."
That didn't tell her much. "What did the doctor say? About the baby?"
At the door Gilly looked back, and there was no sympathy in her gaze. "You had a seven-month miscarriage yesterday. The baby you lost was not fathered by Max," she said coolly, shutting the door behind her.
The air went out of Philadelphia 's body, and her hands clamped into fists. The worst had happened.
Exactly as she had feared, the doctor had been her undoing.
What she hated most was the realization that she might as well have spared herself the fall down the staircase, since everyone had found out anyway. Lifting the mirror, she studied the cut on her forehead.
Possibly it would leave a scar.
On the positive side, she could toss away the shapeless sacks she'd been forced to wear. Best of all, the gossips who were speculating about her hasty marriage to Wally would see her in town as soon as she could get up and about, and they would see her as slender as ever. Whispers might circulate that she'd lost a baby, but no one really listened to cowboy gossip. The whispers would fall silent when she showed herself in the Ladies' Emporium.
She brushed her hair but didn't pin it up. Instead, she arranged a long golden curl over one shoulder. It made her look younger, more fragile.
Beginning to feel anxious again, she wondered who would appear first. When the rap came on the door, her nerves twitched and she thrust the mirror beneath the covers. "Come in."
Max opened the door, but he didn't step into the room. Morning light turned his face haggard, illuminating dark circles beneath his eyes and washing the color from his lips. Still, he had the power to stir her in ways no other man ever had.
"One word." His voice was low and hoarse. "Why?"
This wasn't a question she had anticipated since the answer was obvious. "Everything that happened is your fault, Max. I implored you not to leave me alone all summer. I begged you to stay, but you wouldn't listen. Even after I gave myself to you, you wouldn't do as I asked." Surely he understood the reason she had surrendered her innocence was to induce him to stay in Fort Houser . It had stunned her when he left anyway.
"I was hurt and lonely. Shocked that you would disregard my wishes and use me so badly. In July the son of an acquaintance of Father's stayed with us for two weeks." Accusation gleamed in her eyes."He paid attention to me."
She waited for Max to say something. But he didn't comment, didn't mention the cuts and bruises on her face. He stared as if she were a puzzling stranger who touched nothing inside him.
If she'd been standing, she would have stamped her foot. "I was angry, Max. You deserted me to go live with a grubby passel of prospectors. I missed all the engagement parties people would have hosted for us if you'd stayed here. Luis understood that. He said he would never have behaved so thoughtlessly or so selfishly toward his future wife!"
As she watched his eyes and his expression harden, she sensed that discussing Luis might be unwise.
She also sensed that her explanation was going badly, but she didn't know why.
She fluttered her fingers in a dismissive gesture, tilted her head, and gave him a sad, brave little smile.
"That's behind us now. I forgive you. All in all, everything worked out for the best. The baby just complicated everything. Now it's simpler. Now there's no rush, no time constraints. We can dissolve marriages we don't want and start over. It can be the way we both want it to be."
