Page 163 of Scorched Earth
“She hasn’t put anything in my head.”
Felix scrubbed a hand over his face, then said, “No one wants a war with Gamdesh, Marcus. We’d all be happy to sit tight here in Emrant for the next five years, but it’s not going to happen. They won’t let us. And if you refuse to follow Cassius’s orders and are named a traitor, they’ll either find a way to drag you back to be executed or send assassins to take care of the job. Peace is a dream but never our reality, and you of all people should know that!”
The voice reared in Marcus’s head, repeating Grypus’s words.You’ve been given too long a leash for too long a time and have it in your head that you possess real power. Remember that the Senate owns you.
Not anymore.
“I will make it our fucking reality!” he snarled at Felix. “And may this land’s gods help anyone who gets in my way.”
60TERIANA
“We’ll get you your things, then you need to go,” Quintus said, hurrying her up the steps. “When Marcus comes up, ask him to arrange the release of theQuincenseand an escort through the xenthier stem. I’ll go with you. We’ll get your people released, you on a ship that will take you to theQuincense, and all of this will be a bad memory.”
“What about you?” she asked, feeling oddly unwilling to tell her friend that she’d be coming back to join the legions. The plans she had with Marcus seemed tenuous and new, and putting voice to them felt like tempting fate.
“He said that once you were freed, he’d fake my death and arrange for me to take Miki.” His eyes roved for anyone who might be listening. “And then I was hoping we’d be able to join up with you.” He was quiet for a minute, then added, “You said one of the healers in the West might be able to help Miki.”
Teriana bit the insides of her cheeks because her new plans changed things. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be able to help her friend. She could make arrangements for theQuincenseto take them aboard, have Yedda bring them somewhere out of reach of the Empire, and help Miki find a healer. “Healers can mend any injury. I’ll speak to Marcus before I go and ensure he’s thinking of a plan. It’s…”
She trailed off, because it was all happening so quickly. As they reached the top of the tower and headed to her room, Teriana stared at the precious letter. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she’d first set sail with the legions because she’d believed it was the only way to save her people, and now she had accomplished what she’d set out to do.
But she wasn’t done.
Teriana shut the door to her room behind them, then said, “After my people are released, I’m coming back to Emrant.”
“Pardon?” Quintus turned to stare at her.
Her tongue felt thick, every word needing to be dragged from her lips. “Marcus thinks he can hold the Senate in check. That together we can negotiate peace between Celendor and Gamdesh, as well as mutually beneficial trade terms. I’m going to stay with him. Be with him.”
Quintus stared at her, eyes full of shock. “Teriana, that’smadness.I don’t know what he’s said to convince you such a thing is possible, but he doesn’t have the power to hold the Senate in check. You heard what Grypus said. What they think of us. Marcus’s days of controlling everything areover.The Senate is going to roll right over whatever dreams you two have concocted, because they don’t want peace. They want profit.”
Her lips parted, harsh words rising in response, but Teriana bit down on them. Taking a deep breath, she said, “Quintus, I have to try. I… I’ve never told you this. I’ve not even told Marcus, but I was chosen by our goddess. Madoria. I was supposed to find a way to defeat the Empire.”
Before he could speak, she continued, “For the longest time, I thought that meant finding a way to sabotage the legions so that you’d have to retreat, but maybe… maybe it doesn’t mean defeating the Empire in battle but rather defeating the Senate at their own game. Forcing them to play by our rules.” She exhaled a shaky breath. “It sounds mad saying it aloud.”
“Because itismad.” Quintus gripped her shoulders, staring into her eyes. “What you are proposing is not possible, Teriana. Are you hearing me? You’re grasping at straws in order to keep this ill-fated romance you have with Marcus alive.”
“It’s not about that.” She twisted away from him, angry that everyone believed her sole motivation was Marcus. He was important to her, but he wasn’t what drove her to make every choice. “What would you have me do, Quintus? Sail into the sunset and leave the West to deal with the consequences of every decision I’ve made? Abandon Marcus to stand between Celendor and Gamdesh alone?”
“Yes.” Quintus’s tone was cool. “That’s exactly what I think you should do. But hearing you, I can’t help but wonder if half the reason you plan to stay is that you’re afraid of what he’ll do if you go.”
Teriana’s heart slammed into her throat at his words, shock rippling over her and leaving her shaky. “You’re wrong! I’ve made my choice. I will hold to every promise I’ve made to you and will ensure Marcus does the same, but right now, I want to be alone.”
“Fine. I’ll be outside, waiting for you to see reason.”
The ground trembled beneath her as he slammed the door, and for a long time, Teriana didn’t move because it felt as though the world around her was crumbling.
It’s fine,she told herself.He’s just angry that you changed the plans and afraid he’s losing his chance to be with Miki.
“Breathe,” she muttered. “Just keep breathing.”
Yet the conversation with Grypus reared in her mind. The proconsul had not hesitated to claim authority, and with the Senate having such easy access between Celendor and Gamdesh, he had every right to. He was the voice of the Senate.
But Marcus controlled the legions. He had won their loyalty and admiration, which was no small thing. Surely the Senate would recognize that level of power for what it was? Surely they could be made to see reason? All it would take was showing them how they could make a hefty profit even if they weren’t in total control, and she was well equipped to do that.
Walking to one of the many tables, she carefully put the letter down and then began stripping off her clothes. She could still feel the proconsul’s gaze, and though Marcus had not allowed Grypus to touch her face, she felt dirty. Needed to be clean.
Teriana climbed into the cool waters of the bath and sank beneath the surface, the water muffling all the ambient sounds and giving her peace. She stayed under for as long as she could, then floated on her back, staring at the mosaic design of the tile on the ceiling, endless fears and doubts consuming her. Though none more so than the doubt she had in herself.
