Page 57 of Tilly in Technicolor
“What’s that?” she asks, pointing at a plastic pharmacy bag on the dresser as she stretches her arms overhead. An envelope is propped on top of it. “Wait, is that a chocolate bar?”
I squint and make out the colors of a Cadbury dairy milk bar wrapper through the thin white plastic. “Guess so.”
Tilly glances at me. “… Can I have some?”
“It’s seven in the morning.”
“Who are you, my dentist?”
“Be my guest,” I say, waving at the bag.
Tilly scrambles across her bed like a rabid animal to the dresser.
“Hand me the card, will you?” I ask. Tilly tosses it at me, then turns back to the bag, fingers waggling like a cartoon villain.
I’ve just broken the seal on the envelope when Tilly screeches, causing me to slice my finger on the edge.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, sucking on my bleeding paper cut.
“Um… nothing,” Tilly says, backing away slowly from the dresser with her hands held up in surrender. “I changed my mind on the chocolate.”
“Okay…” I say, drawing out the word.
“Okay. Bye.” Tilly darts into the bathroom, and the shower is turned on moments later.
Good Lord, she’s odd. I pull out the card and flick it open.
Loved seeing you, Oll. Got these to save you the trouble. Mind you, they’re NOT to be worn with the hideous money belt under any circumstances.
xo,
Cubby
I kick back the covers and walk to the dresser, digging into the plastic bag. There’s chocolate bars in there alright, but there’s also something else. A shiny purple box. It takes me a second to read the label.
DUREX X-TRA PLEASURE
I drop the package and dart away like Tilly did moments ago.
Oh God,Tilly.She saw them.
Tilly saw the condoms.
I literally can’t even imagine what she’s thinking. Probably that I’m some creepy wanker who has his sister buy him condoms and chocolate.
I’m not sure this could get any worse.
The one thing Iamsure of is that the next time I see Cubby, I’m going to kill her.
Chapter 27Moonwalking Through the Feels
TILLY
ADHDcan often cause obsessive thoughts.
Sometimes it’s things like:I need to get to a craft store TODAY and buy ALL the watercolor supplies because suddenly I am destined to become an artist but I MUST DO IT RIGHT NOW OR I MAY JUST DIE.
Or it’s:Hey! Remember that time when you were eleven and you walked into a glass door at the art museum and shattered it and everyone laughed? Let’s play that moment on loop for the next eight days until you’ve cringed so hard you’ve strained your butthole.
