Page 54 of The Plus One
And he hated himself for it. For the harsh way his words slammed her jaws shut. The way her lips twitched and face fell.
But he couldn’t help it; their rising voices felt like needle points injected directly into the nerve endings along his spine. He was sweaty and dizzy and trying to figure out what to do about the spiraling chaos unfolding before him.
Indira’s big copper eyes flashed to Jude. The anger on her face shifted, the obstinate clench of her jaw and the firm lines between her eyebrows morphing into soft hurt as she studied his face.
“You’re right, Collin,” Indira said, her eyes sticking on Jude’s for a second longer before she dragged them away to look at her brother.“I’m clearly the asshole here. So, yeah, I’m going to politely decline the invitation to sleep on the ground in the freezing cold. I have a bunch of work I need to get caught up on anyway.”
Collin frowned, shaking his head as he continued gathering supplies. Indira wrapped her arms around herself, plastered on a fake smile, and took a step back from the group.
After a moment, Rake followed Collin’s lead, and Lizzie moved to Indira’s side, giving her hand a subtle squeeze as she whispered something to Indira that Jude couldn’t hear.
Jude had hurt her feelings. She was trying to protect him and he’d snapped at her. And he wanted to punch himself in the face for the subtle sadness in her features.
But he didn’t want it to be athing. He wanted to be fuckingnormal. He didn’t want the unruliness of his brain to be obvious to anyone.
He wished so desperately he could be the guy who wouldn’t have a problem with last-minute invites. Someone who didn’t feel this desperate, almost primal need to escape the structure of the city.
And he thought maybe he was doing an okay job pretending to still be that guy.
But Indira, with her goddamn perceptive eyes that could read his thoughts like they were written on his skin, wouldn’t let him pretend.
Things were spinning out of control. Jude couldn’t process the number of people. The noise. The spontaneity of it all. A pressure built in his skull, dull and dangerous and ready to lay him on the floor.
“Please come,” he said suddenly, seeing only Indira. He needed her. He couldn’t do it without her.
Indira looked at him, eyes wide and cautious, shoulders curved in defense.
“Please,” Jude repeated, keeping his eyes locked with her. Looking at her for longer than he’d allowed himself in days. “I—” Jude swallowed.
I want you.
I need you.
I already miss you.
“It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
When she continued to stare at him in silence, Jude attempted a smile. It felt stiff and foreign and probably looked absolutely horrifying based on the way Lizzie did a double-take before turning away, following Rake and Collin out the door with a handful of supplies.
Please.This time Jude mouthed the word, only for Indira. She watched his lips, licking her own before meeting his eyes, nodding, and giving him a tentative smile that pulverized his heart to dust.
“Okay,” she said with a resigned sigh. “I’m ready to suffer in the great outdoors.”
CHAPTER 21
Indira
As Indira drove her SUV full of people toward the mountains—how did she get suckered into using her car for this damn thing?—she thought of all the things she’d rather do than go camping:
1) Lick the needles off a cactus.
2) Cut her own bangs knowing full well the emotional turmoil that would haunt her for the next year.
3) Listen to a boomer talk about student loans.
4) Eat cigarette butts off the filthy Philadelphia sidewalks.
5) Sit through a man playing devil’s advocate on literally any topic.
