Page 111 of The Plus One
“That’s really wonderful to hear,” she said. “Relationships are work, and we all enter into them with our own hurts, our own wounds, weights we carry around. Consider this a space where you can open the windows to your relationship and air out the things that no longer serve you as a couple.”
“That’s exactly what we want to do,” Indira said, her heart beatingup into her throat. They’d come so far. She couldn’t wait to see all the places they still had to go.
Another smile from Dr. Brosta. “Then let’s begin.”
Indira and Jude both knew that healing wasn’t linear, and they held hands through every loop and hill their paths took.
They both continued their personal therapy journies, Indira meeting with Dr. Koh weekly as she learned to find value in who she was and not in the problems she could fix for others.
“I used to think being truly in love would be the thing that fixes me,” Indira had told Dr. Koh one sunny spring afternoon. “It’s old and antiquated and ridiculous, but I thought it would be the thing to stitch up my wounds.”
Dr. Koh had nodded in that quiet, knowing way of hers. Indira no longer minded her silence.
“But it’s so different.” A few tears holding a microcosm of feelings rolled down her cheeks. “Being in love doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t make me more whole or human than when I was single. But it is a safe, quiet space where I feel brave enough to look at those wounds… Stitch them up myself, no matter how long it takes.”
And that’s what she and Jude continued to do each day.
They took themselves apart, thread by thread, analyzing every piece, and decided what they wanted to weave back into the tapestry of their life—their opposite colors and differing textures looping together into something beautiful.
That didn’t mean they weren’t without their problems. They fought and bickered and had bad days with all their good. Some of the bad days were exacerbated by the increasing burnout Indira was feeling at her job.
“They keep cutting funding,” Indira said one night, sitting on the floor in her PJs with takeout containers surrounding her. “I feel like they’ve lost sight of the whole point of what we’re doing. The kids we’re trying to help.”
“Are you thinking about looking for a new job?” Jude asked, grabbing some noodles for his plate.
Indira shrugged as she chewed on a spring roll. “I toy with the idea pretty much every day,” she said. “But the unknown is scary. And the job market isn’t great.”
Jude nodded. “I need to start looking for something new too, I think.”
Indira sent him a questioning glance as she took another bite. “I thought you loved your job,” she said through a mouthful.
Jude reached over, brushing crumbs off the corner of her mouth before kissing the spot. Indira beamed at him.
“I do really like it,” he said, playing with his chopsticks. “But… I don’t know. The money kind of sucks and I guess part of me…” He let out a deep sigh, dragging a hand over his hair. “Part of me misses medicine.”
Indira swallowed. “Are you thinking of practicing again?”
Although Jude’s contractual break from GHCO had no impact on his license or ability to practice medicine outside of their organization, he’d recognized that continuing to work as a surgeon would have been hugely fucking triggering and disastrous. The choice to take a break had crushed Jude a bit—it was a unique type of pain to love something and not have it love you back—but he was learning it was okay to let go of things you love if they no longer serve you.
He’d spent the past few months working at a bookstore. It was a completely random left turn from the career he’d worked so hard for, and most of his paycheck went directly to his GHCO repayments, but he found peace in the job, a quiet comfort as he surrounded himself with stories.
Indira’s heart thrummed as she waited for his answer. She wanted Jude to do what made him happy, but she also didn’t want him pushing himself into something he wasn’t ready for.
“No, I don’t think so,” he said, fiddling with his chopsticks. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Or if I’ll ever be. But I was kind of thinking about some sort of administrative role? For a hospital or clinic?Help coordinate care and management and stuff. Get to be around medicine without the parts that trigger me quite as much.”
“You’d be good at that.”
Jude shot her a frown. “A compliment, Indira? Have we lost our spark so soon?”
She threw back her head and laughed, leaning over to punch Jude on the shoulder.
“It’d be cool if we started a clinic together,” she said, popping another sushi roll in her mouth.
Jude’s eyes snapped up to her. “What?”
Indira shrugged, holding up a finger as she chewed. “Like a nonprofit,” she said after swallowing. “Offering treatment to victims of trauma, maybe. Have medical services and psychiatric treatments.”
Jude continued to stare at her.
