Page 132 of Salute, To Bravery
Ophelia was able to calm me. Ophelia insisted on coming over to ensure I wouldn’t have another nightmare. She said that she would bring snacks, too.
I got some shorts on and started to make myself some tea. I put on a meditation to help calm my mind even more. As I followed along, my mind kept wandering to how Ophelia was so calm, so soothing, and so sweet. Her voice was like honey—so thick yet so smooth.
About halfway through my meditation, I heard a knock on the door. I paused the video, got up, and opened it.
Ophelia came bursting in when bags and bags of food—mostly junk food.
This was wonderful.
“I didn’t know what you like,” Ophelia said as she stumbled into the kitchen, “and I didn’t want to stress you out more.”
“This is amazing, thank you. I got everything that I needed,” I said in wonder. “You are amazing.”
She looked at me with stars in her eyes, with a hurricane full of emotions. I couldn’t read them, but I knew they were there.
“I still can’t believe you’re here.”
“I would do anything for you,” Ophelia said, then she put her hand over her mouth, realizing what she said. “I-I…”
“It’s okay.” A smile crawled onto my face. “I feel the same way.”
I knew something big was going to happen. I knew I would have more nightmares in the future, but as long as I had her, I was going to be okay. We were going to be okay.
Is this what love feels like?
Chapter Fifteen.
Ophelia
Is this what love feels like?
Anxiety crept into my skin, into my mind. It was as if a torrent had come out of nowhere. My mind couldn’t comprehend it. Was I in love with Violet?
Violet fell asleep quickly after we put on a movie. We decided on something light-hearted and kiddish. Her head fell onto my shoulder, and her arm wrapped around me.
I should leave.
I couldn’t. I stayed in the same place. It was as if I was rooted to the ground. It was suffocating. I couldn’t speak. I was terrified of falling in love again.
I knew Violet wasn’t like any other girl I’d dated. She wasn’t a sociopath who wanted to control everything I did, and she wouldn’t stalk me if we broke up. Violet was kind and gentle. She was everything that those girls weren’t.
I couldn’t help but be terrified of what was to come. I couldn’t help but worry that she wasn’t showing her true colors. She was new to the group; no one knew her motives or who she was. I won’t go in blind, not again, not ever.
Panic crept into my shallow breath.
Violet wouldn’t purposely hurt me or stalk me. Yet my mind couldn’t comprehend that. My mind wouldn’t comprehend it.Above what I couldn’t comprehend about Violet, I felt like something was wrong or something terrible was going to happen.
People said that love was the most beautiful thing a human could experience.People said that it might save you. I thought differently. Seeing how it turned my parents into enemies, and how it turned people I knew into people I didn’t recognize. Love was viscous, something that would kill you slowly without you noticing.
Smooth jazz filled the air.
I got up, setting Violet down on the couch smoothly. I went to my phone, which was in the kitchen. Seeing Arlet’s profile photo, I answered,
“What are you doing up so late?”
“What happened to ‘hey’ or ‘how are you doing,’” she joked. “I’m studying lines for a new film I’m going to be a part of, and that’s all I can tell. It’s very top secret.”
“I’m happy for you.” Though I tried, I couldn’t make my voice sound cheerful. It sounded somber; it sounded as if I were crying.
