Page 28 of Needed in the Night
As much as I didn’t want to feel like a victim anymore, when I thought about leaving Onat’ras with Mikas, the knot in my stomach eased. The galaxy seemed full of possibilities rather than simply loneliness and the misery of yet another relocation.
When had he become so important to me? It had happened so gradually that I hadn’t noticed until he’d squeezed my hand tonight and it felt like all my fears washed away as if by magic. Thinking about that moment eased the tension in my shoulders that never seemed to go away, even while I was singing.
Happiness and the warmth of not being lonely were new feelings. Brae had been my one and only true, trusted friend until now, and we’d only been together two years. I’d had intimate moments with people like Novee, and now I counted Ycari among my trusted friends, but my feelings about Mikas were different. His friendship warmed my soul.
I worried Brae might feel jealous or resentful of Mikas’s new place in my heart, but my shadowbat closed his eyes and settled deeper into his nest with a rumbly purr I seldom got to hear because it meant he was content—and he was rarely content unless I was.
“How soon can you go back to the perfume shop with Mikas without it seeming too suspicious?” Brae murmured sleepily.
“Ycari is going to send me a message when my perfume is ready,” I said.
He opened one eye. “I thought you didn’t actually sample any scents?”
“I didn’t. As we were leaving, she said she knew what would be perfect for me and we’d have to come back for it in a few days.”
“Hmm.” He closed his eye again and folded his wings over his belly.
First Ycari hadhmm’d at me when I said Mikas and I weren’t a couple, and now anotherhmmthat implied Brae was very uncharacteristically keeping an opinion to himself.
I scowled. “What do you mean,hmm?”
He let out an exaggerated snore.
With a sigh, I used my wristcomm to shut my bedroom window and turn them all opaque. I hated to block my view of the city, but dawn was only a few hours away and the suns’ light would pour straight into my room. I had to at leasttryto get some sleep.
Under the covers, I curled up on my side and tucked my arm under my pillow. My apartment wasn’t cold and my bed had radiant warmth—a common amenity on Fortusia—but I still felt chilly.
Very unsurprisingly, a few minutes later, the bedding rustled as Brae made his way on foot from his nest at my feet to my pillow. He settled in with his back against the crown of my head, moving carefully so he didn’t pull my hair.
“If Nubo tries to touch me,” I murmured, “I won’t hesitate to do whatever I need to do to protect myself. Nobody will touch me without my permission ever again.”
His reply was equally quiet. “I know.”
Much later, around 0500 hours, as Brae snored but sleep still eluded me, I thought of Mikas. Hopefully long before now he’d finished his shift and returned to his apartment for some much-needed rest. I pictured him in bed, comfortable and asleep, and willed him pleasant dreams.
That vision vanished, replaced by the memory of the hollowness in his eyes I’d glimpsed during the walk back from the market and the almost lifeless way he’d wished me good night at my door. My own eyes filled with tears.
How could I get him to tell me what was bothering him?
The only thing I could think of was to get him back to Ycari’s shop and find a way to prevent Nubo from interfering a second time. There, in private, I could trust him with my own big secret, and maybe he would open his heart and do the same.
Again, I pictured Mikas in bed, but this time he was curled up next to me instead of alone. Not like a lover, but close enough that I could feel his warmth and he could feel mine. What a lovely thought that was.
Brae snorted in his sleep, wiggled closer, and resumed snoring. What did shadowbats dream of? I wondered. Tasty insects and warm breezes? Comfortable nests?
I counted shadowbats until sleep finally came.
CHAPTER 10
MIKAS
An hour before dawn,I sat on the edge of my bed in the dark, my forearms resting on my thighs and head bent.
Madame Ycari’s refuge had allowed Isla and I to speak freely and touch one another for the first time and it had been truly wonderful. My hearts, my soul, my entire body had experienced peace and contentment like I had never known. The thought this was only a taste of what my life might be like with my mate had nearly left me speechless.
I had been mere moments from broaching the topic of our friendship with Isla, fully intending to test the waters to see if she might want more, when Nubo’s message cut our time short. The yearning in my hearts went unspoken, and now I ached. Gods, how I ached.
Every word Isla had said during our walk back from the market had hurt my hearts like tiny stabs. Her scent, her smile, even the sound of her footsteps and the rustle of her dress seared me like a sandstorm on unprotected skin. By the time wereturned to our building, my guts churned, my spines prickled, and my knuckles itched to pound Nubo to paste.
