Page 95 of Mann Hunt
They drove on in silence for a few minutes. Declan glanced over at Charlie and made a decision. He said, “I’m going to tell you something that very few people know. Coming out wasn’t easy for me either, Charlie. I still remember it like it was yesterday.”
“When did you come out?” Charlie asked.
“I was in grade ten. I was just getting out of English class. It was held in one of the portables behind the school. Greg Delaney, who was the cutest guy I’d ever seen, came up behind me. We were the last to leave the class. He called out my name.
“He was the kind of guy who normally wouldn’t waste his time on a little kid like me and he was at the centre of every one of my fantasies. He asked me if I had a sec. I remember my voice cracking when I said ‘Sure.’ I knew I’d be late for math class, but who cared? Greg Delaney wanted to talk to me.
“He took me behind the portable and made me swear not to repeat what he was going to say. I remember he put his hand on my shoulder when he asked this. I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I would have sworn on a mountain of Bibles that I would keep his secret if it would have given me a few more minutes with him.”
Charlie nodded. “I know what that’s like.”
Declan continued, “He said he had a wrestling match that afternoon and he told me he couldn’t go on like he was. He took my hand and put it on his crotch. He had a full hard-on. He claimed he could only get rid of it if he had his cock in someone’s mouth. He begged me to help him out, saying he couldn’t go out there like this, and if he didn’t wrestle today, he’d be kicked off the team.”
“Holy shit,” Charlie said.
“Delaney promised to suck me off after the match, which he said he’d win for me. He pushed me down on my knees and shoved my face into his crotch. I can still remember the smell of sweat and denim… And I can still hear a voice yell out ‘I told you he was a fag.’ I looked up to see a dozen kids standing there, yelling out insults. Delaney was laughing his guts out. He’d set me up.”
“That’s awful. So what did you do?” Charlie asked.
“I just wanted to run, but my muscles froze and I couldn’t move. I just stayed there on my knees until MrJohnson, the phys-ed teacher came around the corner. One kid yelled out that I was trying to do things to Delaney. Delaney freaked out. I guess he never thought a teacher would get involved. I remember Delaney yelling, ‘Get away from me, you fucking perv,’ and he kicked me to the ground.”
Charlie shook his head. “Jesus. That’s rough.”
“It got worse. They called my parents. I got a two-week suspension and a few beatings from my father.”
“But you didn’tdoanything.”
“It didn’t matter,” Declan said. “My dad asked me if I was gay, and I couldn’t lie to him. We used to get along before the world got pulled out from under my feet. From then on, he blamed everything that went wrong in the family on me being gay.”
Charlie put his hand on Declan’s leg. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”
Declan took his eyes off the road for a second and looked at Charlie. “I think what I learned was it’s all about control. If you don’t choose your own time and place to come out, someone will take that power away from you. So, maybe I do understand what Justin’s going through, but we have to make sure he didn’t kill someone to keep his secret. And as for you, Charlie Watts, you choose your time coming out to your parents, but don’t leave it so long that it winds up hurting you.”
“Well, that time’s not right now. I had another fight with them about working with you and I moved in with my friend Carrie.”
Declan took the exit off the highway before he said, “Look…I’d understand if you decide that family’s more important than this job.”
Charlie smiled. “I’d sooner die than give up this job.”
“Let’s hope it never comes to that. You’ve already been hit by a car and slept with a possible murderer.”
“Please…don’t mention that. You could have at least called and warned me you were coming.”
“Maybe if you’d answered your texts…”
“Well, I was…”
Declan laughed.
“And I still think you’ve got it wrong,” Charlie said. “I don’t think Justin could have hurt Ian. I believe him.”
“Let’s wait to see what Luke finds out.”
Charlie said, “Turn right just up here. Carrie’s place is the second one from the corner.”
Declan parked the car then helped Charlie pull his belongings out of the trunk. “I’ll leave the car with you. I can walk to the office from here. Why don’t you take tomorrow morning off and I’ll see you in the afternoon. Oh, and I’ll let the coach know that you’ve wrapped things up and won’t be in for practice.”
As Declan went to leave, Charlie hugged him and didn’t let go for a full ten seconds before he said, “Thanks…for everything,” then walked into the house.
