Page 32 of Where Are You Now
Too tired to ponder the reasons any further, she went back into her room and tried to get a few more hours of sleep before morning.
When the sunlight finally filtered through her window, Ava didn’t feel any more rested. She’d tossed and turned the whole time, her conversation with Lucas rolling around in hermind. She’d overanalyzed their interactions to the point that she couldn’t even remember why she’d started trying in the first place.
With a yawn, she got out of bed and went into the kitchen. There were no signs that her mother was up yet, so Ava made herself a piece of toast with strawberry jam and went into the office. Work might get her mind off everything else.
She took a bite of toast and logged in to her email. She had a new message from McGregor’s principal, Robert Clive. These days, Robert didn’t send her personal messages. The heading said simply:Partnership. Well, a promotion certainly would be an antidote to everything she’d been through, wouldn’t it?
Maybe this was the moment she’d been waiting for.Thiscould be the reason the voice said she wasn’t done. She’d achieved her end of the heavenly bargain and, now, she had partner shoes to fill—the rest of her life.
She took another crispy nibble and clicked on the message. As Ava scanned the email, her chewing slowed, the bite of toast filling her mouth like cement.
Hello Ava,
I hope this message finds you well.
You know how much we trust your ability to lead. I’ve been your biggest cheerleader. After careful consideration, however, we’ve decided that Scott Strobel should move forward as partner. This decision was challenging given both yours and Scott’s high work ethic and impressive skills. Our choice is in no way related to your absence. Please know that we will continue to support your healing and welcome you back to McGregor Creative with open arms upon your return. We remain highly impressed with your dedication and commitment to the firm.
Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Best wishes,
Robert
The words blurred in front of her. She banged her fist on the table, rattling the laptop and her plate oftoast.
“Unbelievable,” she snapped to no one.
Scott Strobel had stolen her promotion.
She sat there, stewing, tears brimming. Could she have at least been able to get a decent night’s sleep before getting hit with this bomb?
Robert had said the decision wasn’t because of her absence, but had she been there to close the Coleman deal, she could almost bet the outcome would’ve been different. She’d been building up to this position for years. Everything she’d worked for—all the long hours, her broken marriage, the fact that she’d given her entire life to the pursuit of that position—evaporated in one email. Now, what was she supposed to do?
Her pursuit of the partnership had given her purpose. She’d have to work decades at another company to build enough trust to get that kind of offer. She’d thrived on the competition, and the opportunity to demonstrate how hard she could work for something. She’d often thought she could prove herself by being the one who put in the time when no one else would, who worked until midnight and then was at it again by 5 a.m. She’d shown just how much she wanted it, and she’d believed that, coupled with her incredible creativity, would certainly win her the position. But instead, she’d fallen off their radar entirely.
Ava cursed the driver of the other car. Where had he needed to go that cost her an entire career? And now look at both of them. As far as she knew, he was still clinging to life, and she’d lost everything.
Her dream came back to her:You’re not done yet. But, apparently, she was.
She’d chosen to come back to fulfill this part of her life, so what was the greater purpose in this big promise she’d made? Even though she felt she had more work to do when it came to Lucas, she’d held up her end of the bargain. She’d found him,just as she’d been told to do. How was she supposed to live out the rest of her life now?
She logged off, bit back more tears, picked up her plate of toast, and went into the kitchen.
“You look like a storm cloud,” her mother said, standing in her flannel nightgown and lumping her latest quilting project on the counter.
Ava dumped the toast into the trash and put her plate in the sink. “I got some bad news from work.”
“Oh?”
“I didn’t get the partner position.”
Ava’s mom gave her an empathetic frown. “I’m sorry, honey.”
Her mother didn’t understand. She’d never had the kind of ambition Ava had. The drive was part of Ava. Without it, she couldn’t function. She’d spent years building connections and going above and beyond to even be in the running for partner. And then, once she’d achieved it, her strategic leadership would have motivated her and moved the company forward. Her vision and long-term goals would have stimulated the team, and her ability for expansion would have only been hindered by her own parameters.Ifshe had gotten the promotion.
Ava sat at the bar and dropped her forehead onto her folded arms. “That job was mine to lose,” she said into the counter.
Very few people had the level of stamina needed to manage a role like that. She had it. But now, what good was her ability if she couldn’t demonstrate it to anyone?
