Page 22 of Where Are You Now
He was the hero, swooping in, taking care of his accounts and hers. All to show Robert Clive how much Scott could juggle, probably. He was ruthless, taking advantage of her while she was down.
What did she expect? She was the first to say how cutthroat the industry was. Especially at McGregor, where they always had another group of perfect candidates for her job at any given time. She had to get back to work, and soon.
She tipped her head up to the log ceiling and sent a prayer.I did my part. I found Lucas. Can you make me better really quickly so I can live the rest of my life? That’s your end of the bargain, right?
She didn’t feel quite as confident with herquestions to God this time. After seeing Lucas, something pulled at her—an opposing tug, making her question whether she wanted to go back to her life in New York just yet.
But she’d have to pick up the pace if she wanted to keep her job, let alone get the promotion. Ava turned her focus toward the laptop, checked her email, and organized the messages she’d respond to during the week. Then she sent a few emails to clients and copied in Scott. She could at least remind everyone she was still there.
When she’d taken care of her inbox, with nothing else pressing, thanks to Scott, she went out to the front porch and, to her utter delight, a small shipping box with her new phone sat on the porch. She took it inside, set it on the counter, and then went out to the deck and sat by the water. While the lake was giving her the space she needed to recuperate, despite the slight urge to stay longer for Lucas, she longed for the busy city that could always charge her dead battery.
Outside, her mother was sitting in a chair. She had the bulb lights on and the firepit going. The flames popped and flickered, sending the burning embers into the air, creating the unique scent of fall.
Ava picked up a giant red maple leaf that had fluttered onto the decking and twirled it in her fingers. The sheen on its surface almost sparkled in the evening light.
Her mom wiped her eye and sniffled.
“You okay?” Ava asked.
“Oh, yes. Something out here gets my allergies every time.” She sniffled once more and gave Ava a wide smile. “Why don’t I get us a glass of wine and another bowl of stew?”
“That sounds good.”
While Martha went inside, Ava sat down in the wooden chair and put her feet up on the thick stone wall of the firepit. The lake rippled more than usual tonight. A fish jumped, sending a few drops of spray into the air. The autumnevenings were stunning out there—just cool enough to need a sweatshirt, with a slight breeze that would catch a falling leaf every now and again and send it her way.
Her mom returned with two steaming bowls, set them down on the table between their chairs, and went back inside, returning with two glasses of red wine. They sat together quietly. Ava spooned the hearty soup into her mouth, relishing the salty flavor and the warmth in juxtaposition to the crisp, cool night.
As the sun finished its descent, the lake became black. Ava sipped her wine.
“You know, the darkness, sitting with you, under the spell of the wine, it’s a little bit like the feeling I had when I was unconscious. It’s as if our world tries but can’t even come close to what I experienced.”
Her mom sat silently. Then, finally, she said, “I have to admit something to you, and in doing so, I have to admit it to myself.”
“What?”
“I think I just didn’twantto believe you when you told me about your near-death experience.”
“Why?”
“Because, selfishly, I wanted to hear from your dad too. Surely, he’d have a message for us—a quick ‘I love you’ or something?”
“You believe me then?”
Her mom bit her lip, something clearly on her mind. “With the traffic, it took the ambulance some time to get to you on the highway. You’d lost a lot of blood while you were trapped in the car. They got you stable, but your blood pressure was incredibly low when you arrived at the hospital. You coded before I could get there.” Tears filled her eyes. “I flew to New York, thinking I’d lost you.”
“So Iactually died?”
Her mother blinked away her tears. “Yes. They pumped you with blood while giving you drugs and administering defibrillation to keep you alive. And it worked.”
“If I died, then I could have gone somewhere else, and that means the voidisreal.”
“It could be. But I was told by the doctor that if the blood supply to the brain is reduced for more than a few minutes, you could have some brain impairment. I assumed your story about the emptiness and hearing God was because you’d lost so much blood.”
“I know I’ve still got tomorrow’s tests to go, but my tests today didn’t show anything wrong with my brain.” Ava leaned forward. “Everything we’ve learned about this life is only the surface of what’s really within us and out there.” She pointed to the velvety sky. “We’ve had it all wrong.”
Tears spilled down her mother’s cheeks.
“Why are you crying? It’s okay you didn’t believe me. I wouldn’t have believed me either.”
