Page 74 of Where Are You Now
“Yeah, I figured you’d need to have your sewing machine. I’m still going to help you get them done, and I want you to show me how to sew them on the machine. If I’m good enough, maybe I could get my own machine and take a few home to work on them.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t want you to do that.”
Ava picked up her coffee, the rising steam sending a roasted caramel scent into the air. “Why not?”
“The bags are my thing. You have your whole life going on in New York. You need to get back to it.”
“Yeah,” Ava agreed, but her answer didn’t sound as convincing as she’d have liked.
That afternoon,while her mother ran out to get groceries, Ava opted to stay back and sit by the lake. She’d always imagined people who had near-death experiences came back with some renewed purpose, some extra sense of why we’re here, but she hadn’t. She knew she’d completed her mission, but if anything, she’d come back more confused about her future.
The words she’d heard ran through her mind:Find Lucas Phillips and live out the rest of your life. She searched for additional meaning within them, but came up empty. Sure, she could see her purpose in coming back was to help Lucas and to build a stronger relationship with her mom. That made total sense. Lucas’s life, and her mother’s, would be better than they were before. But would hers? Until recently, finding Lucas was the part that had made sense. But “live out the rest of your life” didn’t give her much guidance.
Before her near-death experience, Ava had been a force to be reckoned with. Now, as she looked up at the towering trees and the expansive lake in front of her, she felt small. Her reality had changed. Life was no longer this two-dimensional existence of wakefulness and sleep, seizing the day and planning for the future before rest. There was a third option: being outside that wakefulness and sleep, and existing in the moment.
Ava had to accept not knowing the plan. If she focused on the now, she’d simply exist by this lake—which was what she really wanted to do, but that couldn’t be her earthly existence.There was no place for people who wanted to spend their lives in the moment, simply existing. She had to go back to her old life, but her old work ethic didn’t resonate the way it had.
She still wanted to do her best, but her drive was based on a different reality, one that didn’t include success and money as the ultimate reward but, instead, happiness and fulfillment. Her drive was becoming more about being with people and doing good things. She enjoyed helping her mother quilt, something she’d never considered only a few months ago. She wanted to attend church more often, and begin digging into her religious beliefs.
But she had to make a living. She had to afford her high-rent apartment, and even if she sold it, she’d still have to pay for something else. How could she live in this environment when money and status didn’t really motivate her anymore?
Ava pulled the sleeve of her sweater over her cold fingers when a breeze blew through the trees. As if floating on top of the wind, the words “You’re not finished yet”sailed into her ears, stopping her thought in its tracks.
She sat up straight in the chair, scanning the water, the sky, the fallen leaves on the edge of the deck, looking for something—anything—to tell her more.
What? I’ve done everything you’ve asked.
What else could she possibly have to do? How would she know how to follow the second half of her command in a way that would fulfill whatever this heavenly promise had included?
But then, an overwhelming sense of the feeling she had before—thenow—washed over her, and her anxiety relented.
She would heal her life the same way she’d healed herself: one small decision at a time. If she took things step by step, maybe the answers would fall into her lap.
Chapter Twenty-Five
With her mother still not home from her grocery run, Ava opened her email to see if there were any new messages she needed to respond to.
There was one from Scott Strobel. He had a new “project” for her.
She opened the email and scanned the message, her eyes bulging with every word that came next.
He told her there was a reason he’d handled everything for her biggest clients. He was whittling down her work because he had a new role in mind for her. As partner, he wanted to split the existing staff into teams, and he was hoping that once she was back up and running, she could lead both teams as thenew Chief Marketing Officer for McGregor Creative.
She’d been one of the managing directors, but now, everything would fall under her. As Chief Marketing Officer, Ava would be in charge of strategy for the entire firm. She would also manage overall brand development for their clients and strategic company growth, supervise the results of every client campaign, work with directors and partners, and maintain close relationships with the marketing analytics team.
Ava read over the last sentence of Scott’s email more than once. Could this be what she had yet to fulfill in her promise?
I want you to take your incredible fundamentals and structure the teams the way you think would be most optimal. I’m giving you full reign. I trust your creative insight and guidance.
Ava clapped a hand over her mouth. The answers would fall into her lap, indeed.
She hadn’t seen this coming.
Her moment of introspection on the lake had given way to this.This,she was excited about. She’d have the opportunity to build and create—the elements that had drawn her to the partner position. But in this particular role, she’d get to manage and work closely with people both on her teams and within the client list, as well as be of service to them.
Her fingers light with excitement, a newfound energy pulsing through her veins, Ava responded that she’d love nothing more than to take on the position. Then, she thanked Scott for the faith he’d put in her.
She sat back in the chair, satisfied. Even out on the lake earlier, Ava felt as if she had to orchestrate her life, but what she realized just now was that if she relaxed into her life, it would build itself aroundher. She only had to take each next step.
