Page 15 of Where Are You Now
“Of course. We can pick up some coffee to take with us if you’d like.”
“That sounds great. But what I really need is a computer. I feel like doing work might actually help me recover faster, since I love what I do. It energizes me.” And she must get a handle on what Scott Strobel had been up to, but she wasn’t going to mention that.
“You’d have to set limits for yourself. You couldn’t work hours on end. Would you be able to cut it off to give yourself time to rest?”
“I think I can.”
They parked outside The Pink Mug, and Martha ran in to get their order. With their coffees in hand, they drove the half hour back home.
“If I show you something,” her mom said, opening the front door for Ava and leading her toward the back corner of the cabin to her sewing room, “you have to use restraint.”
“Okay.”
Martha pushed open the door. The sewing room had been converted into a small office. The fall foliage filled the large window that overlooked the lake and let natural light into the small room. One wall was a bookshelf, full of Martha’s books, and her sewing machine was set up in a corner of the room next to an old wooden trunk. But in the center of the oatmeal-colored braided rug, was a simple wooden desk with a laptop.
“I have full internet access and Wi-Fi,” her mom said.
Ava’s mouth dropped open. “You. Held. Out on me!”
“All in the name of health. I thought I should wait to showyou this, to force you to rest. You’re welcome to use it. Just please take it easy. You aren’t healed yet.”
Ava went over to the desk and pulled out the wooden chair, standing behind it. “When did you get all this?”
“Remember how I got my espresso machine? Well, that’s not all. Your dad’s insurance wasn’t a lot, and I needed a way to make extra money, so I started quilting those little handbags. A friend of mine told me about a website where I can sell them. So I made up a bunch of them and sold them online and at craft stores and festivals until I’d earned enough money to buy that desk and computer. I’ve just started to post more bags on the website.”
“That’s wonderful, Mom.”
“Yeah, well, it gives me something to do out here.” That heaviness flickered again in her gaze.
“Have you had many orders?”
“Just a few so far. But it’s enough to give me the extra money. For so long, we didn’t have a lot, and I never asked for anything. After all those years of taking a backseat while your dad worked hard, living with very little, I feel as though I’ve earned the right to treat myself now and again.”
“You don’t have to validate your desire to work hard to get things for yourself. I know all about it.”
Her mother smiled, and they shared a small moment of unity that they’d never had before. The idea of her mother having her own goals hadn’t occurred to Ava until now. She’d always seemed happy to stay in the background. She had dinner on the table every night, clean sheets on the beds, fresh towels in the closets. But that whole time, had she given up herself to be the anchor of the family unit? She’d done all that, and Ava hadn’t even been able to give up enough hours in the day to save her marriage.
“Well, I’ll leave you be.” Martha pointed a finger at Ava. “Don’t overworkyourself.”
“Iwon’t. I promise.” Ava placed her coffee next to the laptop and took a seat. She hit the power button, and the glorious sound of the computer booting up gave her a jolt of exhilaration.
Her mom shut the door on her way out.
The first thing she did was order herself a new phone. She typed in her credit card number that she knew by heart and entered her mom’s address.
Then, before she got into her work, Ava wanted to see if she could find anything on Lucas, now that she thought he might be in Nashville. She pulled up his profile picture on the Columbia-Presbyterian website, taking time to study his face again on a larger screen than her phone. The man in front of her sure did look like the boy she’d known. What were the odds that her Lucas and this one both had green eyes with gold flecks? If this photo was the same Lucas, he had strong cheekbones and chiseled features now, but she could almost see the young boy she’d known. She slipped back in time to that final day, eighteen years ago …
Ava had risenwith the sun, knowing her best friend was about to leave her life for good. She brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and threw on a T-shirt and shorts. After slipping on her sneakers, she bounded down the stairs of their old farmhouse.
“Where are you going?” her mom had called through the screened door as it clapped shut behind her.
“To Lucas’s!”
She sprinted along the meadow of wildflowers between their houses, past the old fence gate they used to swing on when her daddy opened it to let the tractor through. She carried on down the dirt road that led to Lucas’s, coming to anabrupt stop in front of the large moving van. The back was open, a ramp leading into it. Men in gray shirts were carrying Lucas’s things out of the house and packing them away like she stacked her favorite books on her bookshelf—filling in every open space.
Lucas came outside, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His eyes were red.
“Hey,” he said, throwing a cutting glance at the truck.
