Page 66 of The Magic of Sea Glass
“Okay, here I come. Honest opinion.”
Stephanie pulled back the thick curtain and stepped out in a stunning, form-fitting, lace-over-satin ensemble. The neck was a delicate V with tiny beading along the edge. The lace slid down her body effortlessly, giving her a perfect silhouette. As she turned, her long, dark, wavy hair fell down her bare back, the dress scooping all the way down to below her waist. The two camera guys pulled in for opposing angles.
It was perfect.
Lauren should’ve jumped for joy at the sight. Even with all her experience, she couldn’t have chosen a better dress. It was tailored perfectly for Stephanie, and it was going to be the most elegant addition to the wedding. But, just as she’d feared, that familiar plume of dread smacked her in the face, waking her up to the fact that, if she squinted her eyes, the woman in front of her could’ve beenherin the same style of dress, preparing for her forever, taking the next step to have a family of her own.
Lauren caught the flash of interest in Dave’s eyes and he motioned for the cameras to focus in on her, only serving to cause her more anxiety. The dress, the show, the wedding—she was stuck once more in the jaws of her old life and she couldn’t escape it. Her pulse pounded in her ears and her heart raced. She needed to get out of there.
Taking in slow breaths, with Stephanie still waiting for an answer, Lauren tried to force a smile, but it got caught on a sob. She thought she’d come so far since arriving, but this moment had opened her old wounds. As the cameras turned entirely on her, she attempted to shove it all down into the depths of her soul, that place where she’d pushed all her emotions over the last year, but it was proving difficult to do. Her vision blurred with the tears that were beginning to brim.
“What do you think?” Stephanie asked, her voice quivering with unease.
She’d left weddings behind, sold everything she’d worked for, and gotten out of TV for a reason: because she could no longer manage any of it. What had she been thinking, taking this on? She should’ve known that she wouldn’t be able to do it. She’d onlyjustleft Sugar and Lace; it was too soon.
“It’s… everything it should be. But—I’m sorry—I can’t do this.” The cameras moved back to Stephanie just as tears spilled over Lauren’s eyes.
All of it caused Lauren to feel as if the room were swallowing her up, pulling her away from all the progress she’d made. She wanted to be strong for Stephanie and not make a scene on camera, but it was too late for that. Her skin prickled with apprehension as she got up, her body on autopilot. Lauren ran across the room, pushed open the door and gasped for air, the thick heat doing nothing to help her. She leaned against the brick wall of the shop, her hands on her knees, feeling lightheaded as her tears dropped onto the pavement by her feet, making little gray circles of wetness on the sidewalk.
What if she never recovered? What if, no matter how far she’d come, she’d never be able to manage this? And now, she had just run out on Stephanie, very likely ruining her day when the poor woman had done nothing to deserve it. The guilt and shame penetrated every crevice of Lauren’s being. She’d ruined this, and she couldn’t fix it.
* * *
“I can’t do it,” Lauren said to Mary later that evening, after telling her the whole story. “I haven’t even faced Stephanie yet. Dave’s been texting me all afternoon and I’ve been avoiding him. And Stephanie’s called twice. I don’t know what to say. Dave will get over it, but I have no idea what Stephanie’s probably thinking.”
Mary had been a sounding board for Lauren the whole time while the film crew had finally taken a meal break, all of them pulling out of the parking lot in their rental van. Now the two of them were preparing the table in the main room and entryway for the dinner crowd, adorning the tables with fruit-infused water and lemon meringue pie cookies. The sugary citrus aroma filled the newly decorated space, but it did nothing to lift Lauren’s utter worry over the situation.
Mary scooted the silver tray of cookies to the right and then scrutinized the placement. “I think the first order of business is to talk to Stephanie.”
“After how I reacted to seeing her in her dress today, I don’t know how I’d be able to manage it.”
Mary turned to face her. “Lauren, youarecapable of doing this.”
Tears filled her eyes and her chest tightened with emotion. “I don’t think I am.” Mason’s voice floated into her mind:Come on, kid, the sunshine’s stronger than the storm. Know how I know that? Because if it wasn’t we’d all have drowned by now. She was officially drowning. Lauren looked down at her bracelet. “I was hoping the luck was real. You know, my fiancé, Mason, mentioned that he’d like to move to the beach and he even said he wanted to collect sea glass.Hedidn’t have very good luck…”
“I wouldn’t read too much into it,” Mary said, still fiddling with the water glasses.
“Why?”
“He never got a chance to explore his luck. Maybe that’s why you’re here. To explore it for him.”
Lauren stood, unmoving, and took in what Mary was saying. It had just been a quick observation, but the meaning of it impacted her. Mason hadn’t had a chance to live out his life. He’d missed out on their marriage and their time together too. And for some reason unknown to her, she’d been spared that day when she didn’t go with him. But now, she was broken beyond repair. She wasn’t strong enough to live for the both of them. And she had very possibly ruined the wonderful friendship she’d started with Stephanie. How would she explain to her new friend that it was impossible for her to go through with organizing the wedding? Maybe she could explain and then offer up the Sugar and Lace staff.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out to check the call. “It’s Brody,” she said. “Mind if I take it?”
“Of course not, dear. I’m off to handle the dinner crowd anyway.”
Lauren let herself out onto the porch and answered the call.
“Hey,” Brody said. “Is Stephanie with you?”
“No, why?”
“Thank goodness. Would there be any way that you could come over? I have a little problem.”
“What is it?” she asked.
“Come over and you’ll see.”
