Page 35 of The House on Firefly Beach
“I’ll be back the minute I think this guy’s left, all right?” Then he listened quietly for quite a while before telling Juliana it would be okay.
“What’s going on, Nate?” Sydney asked when he’d gotten off the phone.
He blew out a frustrated puff of air and rubbed his eyes. “I’m not sure. At first I thought it was just a rogue photographer, trying to make a buck on a quick story—and it could be. But then it hit me that Juliana’s four-year contract will expire in three months, and her lawyer will be presenting her thirty-day notice to the agency to terminate the contract. She has about two working months left before the lawyer gives notice. I wondered if the agency has sent someone to find her because contractually she’s under obligation to work, no matter what her mental health is like.”
“Would they do something like that?”
“They would do a whole lot of things to get what they want…” He gritted his teeth and stood up.
“So why would the photographer followus?” she asked, pressing her fingers against her temples that felt as if they would throb right out of her head.
“Hopefully, if they didn’t see her earlier at Malory’s, it was to document the fact that Juliana isn’t here. That’s our best hope. Maybe the photographer will assume she’s somewhere else, and he’ll go back to wherever he came from.”
“And if it’s the press? Would that be any better?”
“Not really.” He leaned on his knees and put his head in his hands. “I wasn’t even thinking about the agency when I posed with Sally Ann for that photo—if that’s even what it was that caused this.” He looked up at her with tired eyes. “I just… I feel more like myself here, instead of this celebrity figure that people have built me up to be. I guess I forgot who I’d become for a second.” There was a tremble in his voice that made him seem more vulnerable than Sydney had ever seen him before.
“It’s okay,” she said in an attempt to console him. “It was just one tiny sidestep, but it will pass.”
He shook his head. “I feel like I can’t ever get anything right.”
“What?” Sydney asked, nearly breathless by his confession. When it came to getting what he’d wanted, he’d achieved an incredible amount.
“I’m not happy,” he admitted. “I’ve made a complete mess of my life, trying to do the right thing.”
She looked into his eyes, and it was as if time stood still. She missed him so much. He stared at her, so many unsaid words between them, and she could’ve sworn by his look that he was trying to tell her how much he missed her too. Her forearm prickled, every nerve ending on high alert as he trailed his finger along it lightly, and she knew right then that she was still completely in love with him. In an instant, she wanted to put her arms around him and kiss his lips. They shared that space together, just the two of them, locked in that moment with one another. With the flutters going on in her belly the way they were, she considered whether she’d forgiven him for leaving her the way he had. Before she could contemplate her answer, however, he hastily broke his gaze and paced across the room.
“I feel like I’m having some kind of breakdown,” he said. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
The insecurity she’d felt all those years ago came slithering back in. Why had he pulled away just now? Had he realized that he was staring into the same future he’d left so many years ago?
“I… uh… I’m going to go up to bed,” she said, trying not to let her hurt show. “Lock up when you leave.”
He grabbed onto her with his stare, urgency in his eyes, but she turned away.
Then something came over her: she felt sorry for him. He was only a shadow now of the boy she’d known. That life he’d chased, gambling everything he loved and rolling the dice, was eating him alive. She went over to him and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Nate,” she said, her tone telling him that they were done here.
“Good night,” he said, barely audible under the confusion and defeat in his voice. And as she left his sight and walked up the stairs, she stopped, sharpening her hearing. But all she heard was silence. Her mind must have been playing tricks on her because she could’ve sworn she heard him whisper, “I love you, Syd.” But perhaps that was simply wishful thinking.
Chapter Twelve
The first sound that entered Sydney’s consciousness was the tinkling of the wind chime on the porch outside, signaling a gentle breeze, but she couldn’t quite swim out of her sleep enough to move. The morning sun streaming in through her window didn’t even help. But then Nate’s laugh sailed into her room from downstairs and her eyes flew open. Robby’s giggle followed. It was seven a.m. What was he still doing here? Sydney grabbed her bathrobe and threw it on.
When she got downstairs, Nate and Robby were side-by-side on the floor in the living room, notebooks open, drawing together. A folded blanket sat on the sofa with a toothbrush on top from the packs that her mother had gathered for guests when they’d redone the bathroom. Nate was still in his clothes from yesterday, a shadow of stubble on his face. Ben’s dog Beau greeted Sydney before retreating back to the sunspot on his dog bed in the corner of the room.
“Nate showed me how to draw a dinosaur,” Robby said to her when she neared them.
Nate looked up at her, a fond grin spreading across his face. “Sleep well?” he asked.
It was only then that she realized she hadn’t even looked in the mirror yet. Her hair was still disheveled from sleep, and she had no recollection of taking off her mascara last night, which made for an amusing appearance, she was certain. She ignored his question.
“I’m just going to get a cup of coffee. And a glass of water.”
Judging by the sandpaper feel of her tongue, she started to wonder if maybe she’d had more wine than she should’ve last night.
Nate twisted his notebook toward Robby. “Here’s how to do the tail. Give it a try while I get a cup of coffee with your mom.” Nate stood up and walked over to her. Once they were facing each other, she thought she saw a tiny bit of hesitation, as if he didn’t know what to do around her anymore.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
