Page 4 of The House on Firefly Beach
Breaking through her reflections, Nate’s voice sailed over Sydney’s shoulder tentatively, and he was suddenly by her side, his hand outstretched to her. “May I have this dance?”
He had to be kidding.
“Shouldn’t you be asking your date?” she asked, keeping her eyes on the crowd that had filled the floor around Hallie and Robby.
“Juliana didn’t feel well…” he said, sounding shaky. “She went back to Malory’s cottage… ”
Sydney had been hoping to spend some time with Malory tonight. Malory and Sydney had spent their summers in Firefly Beach with one another, and the Hendersons and the Flynns were always together in those days. In fact, that was one of the things that had brought Sydney and Nate closer. He’d been that annoying big brother type, splashing her and Malory while they sunned themselves on the dock or chasing them around with the water hose when he was washing his truck. As they got older, he took on a more protective role and began to watch over them, walking with Sydney whenever she went home after dark to be sure she was okay.
Malory had been a driving force in getting Sydney and Nate together. She’d urged Sydney to spend time with Nate, telling her more than once that they were perfect for each other. She invited Nate to every activity the two of them did together. He was there for Sydney’s softball games, he magically showed up at the ice cream shop when she and Malory got mint chocolate chip ice cream cones. He found his way to the beach on the nights they made bonfires and roasted marshmallows… When they’d finally started dating, Malory teased them, telling them that if they ever got married, Hallie would have competition for maid of honor. “You’re like a sister to me,” she’d told Sydney.
When Nate left them all for LA, it was clear that Malory held on to a lot of guilt over Sydney’s heartbreak. One night, as they’d sat together in near silence at the top of the lighthouse, the gulf, as big as Sydney’s emotions, stretching out before them, Malory had apologized to Sydney for hurting her so badly by encouraging her brother’s advances. And even though Sydney assured her that she’d done nothing wrong, the two of them drifted apart, the absence of the laughter that they used to have in Nate’s presence settling heavily between them. About two months after he left, when Nate finally began making contact with his sister, calling her to catch her up on what he’d been doing out in Los Angeles, and Sydney had moved back to Nashville for the winter, Malory stopped calling Sydney altogether under the strain of the whole situation.
“I want to dance withyou,” Nate said.
Sydney forced herself to focus on the ruggedness that was still present on his face despite the years spent in the land of beauty and excess, and shook her head. His date had gone back to the house alone, and he’d wasted no time at all moving in on someone else. He was unbelievable.
“Sydney…” he said quietly. “Will you let me talk to you?”
He placed his hand on her arm, but she flinched, jerking it away instinctively. The reaction surprised even her. It had been a long time, and the wound was still very much there. She scanned the crowd, making sure they weren’t drawing attention to themselves before she finally looked him in the eye, but she was at a loss for words. There was nothing more to say. She didn’t like the man he’d become, and he’d made it pretty clear when he’d left that this was the lifestyle he’d wanted. Well, he’d gotten it.
“Look,” he said under his breath, his voice tender, “we don’t need to do this here. The last thing I want is to upset you—you deserve to be happy.” There was a long pause, deliberation on his face. Finally, he said, “I won’t bother you anymore tonight.”
The disappointment and sadness in his eyes as he walked away made her second-guess her response to him, but she didn’t trust it. All she had to do was remember how he’d left. The night before, they’d celebrated her huge accomplishment. Sydney had received a letter inviting her to travel around the U.S. for three months, documenting the work of Eugene Storer, a famous humanitarian who was collaborating with students from various universities.
One of her professors had asked her to apply, and she’d gotten accepted as a staff writer. Nate had brought over a bottle of champagne to commemorate the occasion.
“You’re amazing!” he’d said that day, picking her up and giving her a squeeze, the champagne bottle in his grip, swinging with her as he turned her around.
“Do you think I should go?” she’d asked once he’d put her down, and she could still remember the complete bewilderment on his face.
“Why wouldn’t you?” He leaned over and nibbled at her neck playfully, his arms finding her again.
“It means we’ll be apart for a while,” she said, earnestly. The thought bothered her more than she wanted to say.
When she said that, something registered on his face. “It’s okay to be apart. We can make things work.”
“I’d rather stay here with you, even if it means making different choices in life. All these things pulling me away… I feel like it would ruin us.”
He stared at her, clearly working something out. “Is that why you didn’t transfer to Emerson College like you’d wanted to? Because you were worried about being away from me?”
“It’s in Boston, Nate. We’d never see each other.”
“It’sthetop journalism college in America, and you were accepted,” he countered. “You’d told me that living in the north would be too cold and busy…”
“It all means nothing if I can’t be with you. Relationships are about compromise, right? Being with you is more important than some fancy college. And the same holds true for this trip.”
“Syd, Ioverwhelminglysupport you going on this trip. I’ve never met anyone as talented as you are. You can’t let your feelings about us hold you back from what you were born to do.”
“I don’t know…” she replied, unable to articulate how much it would bother her to be away from him. She knew this was a fantastic opportunity, but was now the right time? “Let’s celebrate that I got it,” she said with a smile. “We can decide if it’s the right thing for me to do later.”
As the evening went on, he’d seemed slightly withdrawn, but it was late, and she figured he was tired. She remembered how much love she felt for him that he was working so hard to mark the occasion given how worn-out he clearly was, and she hadn’t thought a thing about it when he’d decided to go home alone instead of staying over like he usually did.
She had no idea what awaited her the next morning, so full of joy and anticipation.
She just couldn’t understand it, the grief of losing him stinging her like a pack of bees, swarming her for the longest time. They’d dated exclusively throughout college—madly in love with one another—and they’d talked about “forever” as if it wasn’t just a possibility but a reality. They’d been so in love that she just knew after graduation, he’d pop the question and they’d live happily ever after. But instead, out of nowhere, he’d broken her heart, moved to LA, and begun to build a larger-than-life persona that included dating actresses and supermodels and jet-setting across the world, leaving his old life—and her—behind.
She’d gone on that trip with Dr. Storer after Nate left, but she’d spent the entire time missing him, and she never really felt much like writing after that.
