Page 20 of The House on Firefly Beach
“Right now I’m staying with Malory but I bought a lot on the other side of town and I’m building there.”
“And what’s wrong with the lot you already have?”
He didn’t answer.
Without even knowing it, he’d just betrayed her again. It made sense, though, that he wouldn’t want to wake up with Juliana down the road from his ex. The ex he’d run away from, the one he’d planned on marrying at one time.
He’d put a quarter in the bubblegum machine in town and gotten Sydney a ring with a plastic purple stone. He’d said she could wear it until he could afford to get her the best ring money could buy. One day, Robby had found it in her jewelry box and asked to play with it. She couldn’t bring herself to let him. She wasn’t sure why she kept it, but to this day it was still in the same spot in her jewelry box. She’d taken it off the day he’d left and initially, she hadn’t had the strength to take it out of the little velvet cushion where she’d placed it that day. Then the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and… that was it.
He caught her looking down at her empty ring finger. “Whatever happened to…” he began before evidently deciding not to bring it up.
“I don’t have it anymore,” she lied, and their eyes met. She looked away for fear that he’d be able to see through her answer.
When she turned back to him, Nate nodded, but the disappointment was clear.
“Look,” she said. “This is difficult for both of us. There’s too much between us to keep going on like this. I don’t think we can see each other without bringing our history back up, and it’s not something I want to keep reliving. If there’s something you want from me, then ask me now. But then I’d appreciate it if you would give me my space.”
“Something I want from you?” he asked, his brows furrowing.
“Is there?”
He took a step toward her, reaching for her arm, his finger trailing down it. She let him, although she could feel the tears welling up. She blinked them away. “Somehow… I just want to make you happy,” he said.
“You can’t do that anymore,” Sydney told him honestly.
His hand found hers and he caressed her empty ring finger the same way he used to do when she was wearing the ring. The hollow feeling that she’d thought she’d gotten over came rushing back. She pulled her hand away gently, wishing things could be different. “I have to go inside,” she said, unable to keep her emotions at bay. She needed to get a handle on herself so she could spend time with Robby.
“Wait,” he said, stopping her.
“Wait for what, Nate? Why aren’t you putting this much effort into making Juliana happy right now?”
“Because I’m not in love with Juliana,” he said, matter-of-factly. Then it was as if he’d wanted to suck the words back in, and she realized what he was implying: that he was spending his effort on the person hewasin love with. That didn’t make any sense, given the way he’d left without a care in the world. Then she wondered if his reaction was simply due to the guilt he felt by betraying his girlfriend with his words just now.
“That’s a pretty big admission,” Sydney said. “You’d better let Juliana in on that bit of information.” The whole situation made her feel uneasy. This was definitely not how she’d wanted a reconciliation to happen with Nate if he ever came back. Early on after their break-up, she’d fantasized about what it would be like to have him run into her arms and tell her how it had all been such a terrible mistake. Lost and confused, she’d prayed for it, but now she wished he’d have never returned to Firefly Beach; not like this.
“Juliana knows,” he said. “She’s known for a while.”
Juliana knew that Nate felt something for Sydney? And she was still with him? Sydney wasn’t even going to get into their off-again status. Who knows what they’d talked about in therapy today, and it was none of her business anyway.
“If you had some kind of change of heart, why didn’t you come find me years ago?” she asked.
He took in a deep breath and blew it out loudly, tipping his head back. “I tried, but we were never in the same place emotionally at the same time. You were getting married…”
She didn’t dare tell him that had he actually been honest about why he’d called that day, it would’ve shaken her so badly that she probably would’ve called off her wedding. And she’d have never had the love of her life—her son. That was proof that all of this happened for a reason and they were trying to hold on to something that was never meant to be theirs. Sydney shook the thought free from her mind. She was letting Nate get to her. He was simply on the rebound from whatever falling-out he’d had with Juliana. If Sydney allowed him to continue to make these little appearances, she would undoubtedly let him in, only to have him break her heart when he realized that he was better suited for someone like Juliana. They’d run back to LA together, leaving Sydney shattered, and she didn’t think her fragile heart could take Nate leaving a second time.
“I don’t know any other way to tell you that I’m not interested, Nate. How can I make you understand?” She didn’t bother to clarify that it was Nathan Carr that didn’t interest her. Nate Henderson would always have her heart.
Nate pursed his lips, clearly unable to find the words to convince her. She’d made it pretty clear. “I’ll just give you this,” he said, pulling a card from his pocket and handing it to her. She opened the envelope. “It’s Malory’s birthday tomorrow. I’m inviting a few friends over to her house after work tomorrow night. She’d love to see you—she told me herself. Bring Robby. I’m sure he’d like to get a piece of cake.”
“I don’t know, Nate. I love Malory, but it’s too difficult…”
“I won’t make it weird, I promise.” He held up his hands in surrender. “Just friends. No pressure.” When she didn’t answer him, he gave her that crooked grin she loved so much. “Come on,” he urged. “It won’t be much fun with no one to say, ‘Happy birthday.’ I need you.” His smile widened. “And I’ve already invited your mom and Uncle Hank, and they’re coming.”
Sydney really would like to see Malory… “Fine,” she said.
“Ah!” He picked her up and twirled her around, making her laugh despite herself. “Iknewyou’d cave! It’ll be fun.” He set her back down.
Sydney shook her head.
