Page 58 of Hard Lessons
The longer I lay there crying, the angrier I got. That anger gave me energy, and I had to do something with it. I pushed myself up and moved to the bathroom across the hall for a shower. I hadn’t had time to clean up after playing on the beach, and I knew the heat would help to ease my mind and body so I might be able to get some sleep. I stripped out of my bikini and cover-up and I stepped into the shower. I’d already unpacked earlier in the day, so all of my things were already there, ready to use. I washed the salt water from my hair and shaved my legs, which had actually gotten a little tan just from being on the beach for a few hours. After washing up, I just sat at the bottom of the shower, letting the water wash away my anger.
After what felt like an hour, I finally realized that I was expecting too much from the shower. The water wasn’t going to wash away my anger. I needed to just get up and get out, force myself to let go. I stood and turned off the water before gettingout of the shower. I grabbed a towel and started drying off. I had forgotten to grab some clothes to change into, but it wasn’t that big of a deal. Elliot didn’t have any reason to come down the hallway since his room was closer to the central area of the suite.
I was about to go back to my room when I thought that maybe a stiff drink would help me get the rest I needed. I opened the bathroom door and flipped the light switch off. I stood in the doorway, debating between going into my room for some clothes and running to the living room to grab a few of the tiny bottles from the mini-fridge with just my towel around me. I listened hard and heard nothing. It looked like the lights had been shut off, too, only a dim light making its way down the hall from the living room. Thinking that Elliot had already turned in for the night, I decided to grab a few bottles before going to my room.
I moved down the hallway quietly. When I stepped into the main area, I made a beeline for the bar in the corner of the room. I dashed behind it and bent down, opening the mini-fridge. I grabbed a few of the bottles even though it was too dark to see what they were. As long as it was alcohol, it would work.
I closed the fridge and stood, turning around. Just when I took a step toward the hallway, my eyes landed on his. He hadn’t gone to bed like I thought. He was sitting in the lounge chair that faced the windows and bar.
A yelp ripped from my lips. “Fuck, you scared the shit out of me. Why are you just sitting here in the dark like that?”
He had lost his socks, shoes, and shirt. He was wearing only his dress pants and holding a glass of whiskey in his hand, which he rested on the arm of the chair. I hated how perfect he looked. He clearly worked out a lot. His abs were well-defined.
“I wanted one last drink before calling it a night.” Even in the darkness, I could see his eyes fall from mine, taking me in. “Same for you, I see.”
I tightened my hold on the three tiny bottles in my hand. “I thought I might need some help getting to sleep.”
“Why is that?” He had his ankles crossed with his feet kicked up on the table. After he asked his question, he put his feet on the floor and sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared me down.
I took a deep breath as I thought about whether I should tell him the truth or not. Then I decided that I may as well. He wanted the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me, so why not give him that? “Because I don’t sleep well when I’m angry.”
His brow barely twitched. If I hadn’t been watching so closely, I never would have noticed it. “Angry about what?”
I wet my lips. “I broke things off with a great guy because you told me to, but the moment I do, you fly me across the world to babysit so you can go on a date with another woman. That’s why I’m angry.”
The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. “So, are you pissed because you broke up with a guy you liked, because you traveled all this way to babysit, or because I went out with another woman? You have to be a little more specific.”
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “All of the above,”
I held my empty hand out to the side and let it smack against my towel-covered thigh. “I mean… I thought things were changing with us. I thought I was going to be your date to this wedding. I was imagining us lounging on the beach and sleeping next to one another.” My face grew warm from admitting it to him.
As I continued on my rant, he set his glass down and stood, slowly moving closer to me.
“What gave you the impression that things were changing with us?” he asked when he came to a stop directly in front of me.
I lost all train of thought when I looked into his steel-colored eyes. I shrugged my shoulders. “I… I don’t know. It just felt like…”
“I was changing,” he finished for me.
I nodded.
“Do you want things to change with us?” His eyes darkened as he stared down at me.
“I… I don’t know,” I said, looking down at the floor between us. I felt stupid. The fire my anger had set had been put out, and I didn’t know what to say or what to do.
He placed his finger beneath my chin, and he tilted my head back until my eyes met his. “Tell me what you’re thinking, Evelyn.”
I sighed. Screw it.
“I’m thinking about how stupid I am. I mean, I had this big crush on you when I was a teen. You were the only one of my brother’s friends who was actually nice to me. You were cute and older, so of course, I had a major crush on you. But then I come to school and it’s like you hate me. You take every opportunity to embarrass me. You nearly flunked me, and then you struck up this deal so you could keep humiliating me. You take over my life in every sense of the word, nearly get me fired from my job, make me break up with the first guy I’ve actually liked since you, and even through all of that, I’m stupid enough to want you still. Do you know how stupid that makes me feel? To have you look at me with disgust and hate and to want you still?”
“Want me… to what?” he asked, but the glint in his eye told me he knew exactly what I meant.
“You know what I mean.” I looked away from him, my lower lip trembling.
He leaned in. I thought he was going to touch me, but instead, he took one of the bottles from my hand. He uncapped itand poured the shot into his mouth. He tossed the empty bottle to the side.
“Were you jealous when you saw me with another woman tonight, Evelyn?”
