Page 19 of Hard Lessons
“There,” she said, stacking the papers back up on the corner of my desk. “What now?”
“Lose the sweater.”
She flinched. “I-I thought you said you’d go slow?”
“No, I said I’d break you in easy. And that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m not touching. I’m simply looking, but I can always go back on my word if I wish. The deal is, you do as I say, when I say. No arguing. You argue, you tell me no, and the deal is off.” I leaned back in my chair. “Now, do I need to repeat myself, or are you going to take off that goddamn sweater?”
EVELYN
Icouldn’t believe that he was asking me to take my top off, and that it was breaking me in easily. Now that the time had come actually to do it, I wasn’t sure I could.
My throat tightened as I stared at him. He did not look uncomfortable under my gaze, the way I felt until his. He looked to take it as a challenge, like he liked having all of my attention.
“Tick-tock, Miss Ashford.” A slow grin stretched across his handsome face.
I told myself that it was like that time I thought I wanted to take diving lessons. I did okay on all the smaller jumps. It was the big one that scared me. I was too scared to volunteer, so I ended up being last in line. The longer I stood in line, the worse my fear got until I wished I had just gone first to get it over with. The longer I stood before him, the more scared I became. And what exactly was I afraid of? He said he wouldn’t touch me. He just wanted to look. It was just a set of tits. Everyone has seen a pair of tits. Mine were nothing spectacular. I was making a big deal out of nothing. He didn’t say I had to remove my bra.
My hands were shaking as I reached down for the hem of my sweater, but I grabbed the bottom and pulled it upward. I felt thecool air in the room touch my bare stomach. I swallowed hard and looked at the floor.
He didn’t move a muscle. “Now the bra.”
I froze. I was right back up on that diving board. My hands hadn’t stopped shaking from the adrenaline running wild throughout my body.
“E-Elliot, please,” I whispered.
“Take off your bra, Evelyn. Now.”
I squeezed my eyelids closed, my breath coming out in soft, shaky gasps. My hands shook as I reached behind me to unclasp my bra. I tugged and tugged until the hook slipped free of the eyelet. I worked just as hard to get the second free, and when I did, the elastic in my bra snapped back to its original shape. The cups fell away from my chest slightly, and when I lowered my arms back to my sides, the straps fell, my bra landing on the floor.
I covered my breasts with my hands, my pulse thundering in my ears as humiliation raced through me.
I was completely naked from the waist up, on full display for him, and he was drinking in every inch of bare skin I was revealing. I watched as his eyes fell from mine and landed on my chest.
“Move your hands,” he commanded in a dangerous voice.
“Please—”
“Move your hands or I’ll call the Dean and tell him what a very bad girl you are.”
Knowing he likely wasn’t bluffing, I let my hands fall away. He stared at my chest. His brows didn’t lift. His face didn’t show any sign that he liked what he saw. I was questioning if he liked me at all until I saw him adjust himself over his pants.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
I didn’t respond.
“Sit there,” he said, nodding toward the chair that was across from his desk. When I took the seat, he leaned forward, reaching for a stack of papers off to the side.
“Grade these,” he said, handing them over. He pulled out a red pen and the answer key.
I took the items and got to work, glancing up at him every few minutes. I never did find him looking at me, and that made me wonder what the point was of having me sit topless. Was he really just trying tobreak me in easy, as he put it? I was nervous because if he was having me grade papers topless on the first day as a way to desensitize me, what did he plan on doing the following week? Would he really demand that I give him a blowjob? I’d never sucked a guy off before.
And when it came to actually having sex, what would happen if I said no? Surely, he wouldn’t force me, but would he turn me in? It was hard to believe that Professor West was the same guy I had known all those years ago.
When I finished grading the papers, he took them and nodded toward a bookcase that was behind me. “Alphabetize my books by author.”
I rolled my eyes and stood up, hating him a little more.
“What was that?”
