Page 22 of Crying Shame
After dropping Sam off at the elite private school where we'd enrolled him, my heart pounded. I’d gone to one of the best private high schools in the heart of Long Island, and as I stared at the walls of my bedroom in Elon's house, memories hit me.
As an adult, I’d had to explain away the privilege. I’d been asked about it when I was finally granted an audition to be a princess. I’d told the woman interviewing me that I’d been on scholarship, and she seemed confused about why I hadn't taken advantage of more schooling. I hadn't told her I'd never fit in at the shiny halls. Instead I talked about how I’d proven my strong work ethic by taking a job as a hotel maid. I pointed out my desire to work as a pretend princess in a theme park.
Now my son was going to a school similar to the one I'd attended. The only difference was he belonged there as his father’s son. He also belonged in this house.
I prayed that Sam would fit in.
On the drive back from Sam's school, Elon had kept mostly silent. We’d joked a little about the past, which had made my stomach churn. I wasn’t who he remembered, and eventually he’d realize that. I was even more broken and closed off than I'd been in the past.
I took a long bath, closed my eyes, and hoped I could relax. However, memories flooded me of meeting Hunter at the cast center, bringing him home, and finding my son bruised and bloodied in that damn closet.
I sat up and tried to take deep breaths. It wasn’t easy.
Since that moment, I’d hated myself for not telling Elon he had a son. I believed the Norouzis were well prepared to protect their own. I’d spent an entire lifetime watching their family dynamic. I'd wished to be a princess because that would have made me good enough to be in their family.
I got out of the tub, dried myself, and promised myself I’d never, ever, ever let someone dangerous into our lives again. I'd never again give up my power. And it would be stupid to give my heart to the man who'd dashed my dreams.
Finally, I came out of the bathroom and went to the closet where I’d stashed the bag Elon had given me. I wasn’t sure what I’d choose to wear. I opened the walk-in closet. All the clothes had been hung up, and shoes were stacked as though the closet was a shoe museum.
I pressed my hand to my heart. I was reminded of Elon's mother’s house and her closet. I’d watched his mother put on makeup and dress for parties while I dreamed of living a life like hers. If my parents had found out I’d been in her bedroom, they’d have threatened to send me away to an orphanage. I should have just run away. I’d only stayed because of Elon and my dreams of his family becoming mine.
Some of the fancy dresses caught my attention. They were modern and nothing like the princess dresses from wardrobe I’d worn at work. I'd also been required to wear heavy, caked-on makeup.
I’d never wear any of the dresses in the closet, but I found a nice pair of slacks and a button-down blouse. I grabbed them and some black flats, all of which fit perfectly. I took my time getting ready as I wanted to look nice for Elon.
He was different now, more vulnerable and open and a better listener. A chill rushed through me at the thought that he’d take over for me in my son’s heart. I took a deep breath and shook it off. The changes in Elon didn't affect my plan to ensure he and Sam were bonded so Sam would forever be protected from harm.
For now, I needed to get along with Elon so Sam's transition here would be smooth.
When I finished dressing, I left the bedroom. The halls were quiet. I had no idea where Elon might be, so I wandered the house.
I gazed at the blue-and-white textured walls. There were pops of color on the rugs, and the original art hanging from the walls had a beach theme. This wasn’t his mother’s style unless she’d changed.
I checked every room in the house until I got to the last one.
Elon wasn’t there.
He didn’t need to fill me in on what he did every day, but I tensed. I checked the patio, and he wasn’t there, either. In the backyard, I saw a structure in the distance that wasn’t a shed or a garage. The weather was nice, so I decided to talk a short walk to explore the garden, which featured mums and other fall plants. The garden smelled like flowers—and a hint of grapes.
I continued toward the building near a small vineyard, which seemed to be a commercial structure. The door was open, and my heart thumped. I couldn’t see Elon, but the goose bumps on my arms grew, and I knew Elon was inside.
I tensed but decided to walk in. Elon was using a machine to move a stainless steel barrel into a cellar.
The machine was so loud, he hadn’t heard me.
I breathed in the scent of wine and assumed this was his hobby.
It was more like a professional operation, but of course he’d only have the best.
When he finished moving the barrel and turned around, he smiled brightly. My heart stirred. I tried to compose myself. “Thank you for the wardrobe, but it’s a bit much. I hate accepting it.”
He shrugged, got down from the machine, and gently squeezed my arm. “Maman picked most of the clothes and had them delivered. I don’t know anything about women’s fashion.”
I wondered if Roxanne remembered how she'd taught me to use makeup. Heat flooded me. Elon wouldn't care about small details like that. “Then I need to call her and thank her.”
“Of course.” He nodded.
I rocked on my feet, and my heart beat faster. I’d never been this nervous near him, but we needed to talk about how money couldn't buy love. I clutched my hands together and instead asked, “Did you pick out the stuff in the house or did she?”
