Page 48 of Crying Shame
I folded my hands. It wasn’t my benefit. It was his. Maddie had given me some questions to ask Elon so she could discern what he wanted. “Your mother usually decided these things based on the theme she’d chosen.”
His jaw tightened. “I told Maddie to make those choices.”
Yet it wasn’t her party. She could make the plans, but he needed to be satisfied with her choices. I sat back and took a different approach. “Okay. I’ll talk to her, but can I ask what was your favorite of your mother’s parties?”
His lips curled like I’d asked him to finish his vegetables. “None of them.”
When we'd been children, his mother had hosted almost twice-weekly affairs. For most of them, I remembered sitting on the sidelines and imagining the parties were creations from my favorite cartoons. I blinked. “There has to be one.”
“Hmm…” He met my gaze. He had a twinkle in his eyes, and I forgot where we were. Then he snapped his fingers. “The one where you wore that white dress, and I realized you had breasts that stuck out.”
I laughed. I'd been fourteen and awkward, but that was the night I’d realized Elon was the most relatable Norouzi as he’d held my hand and hadn't applied any pressure or treated me as just the servants' kid. I'd felt safe. “That was your mother's all-white party. So we’ll pick that one.”
“Sounds fine.”
“I'll get to work then.” I set off to answer Maddie’s questions through email.
“Done.” I set my phone down.
“We’ll see Maddie in less than an hour," Elon pointed out. "You can talk about the benefit in person too.”
“I’d rather focus on fun than work when they arrive.” I flinched the second the words came out of my mouth, but he didn't seem to notice that I didn't agree with his suggestion.
He folded his hands on the desk between us. “So, about what happened—“
I interrupted him. “Let’s focus on ensuring the house and staff know company is coming.”
He sat up straighter. “Clarissa.”
My heart thundered. I needed to stop living in fear of rejection. My mess wasn’t his to fix. I swallowed, stared at the ceiling, and said, “Okay, I don’t know what I want or what’s best for everyone. Today, let’s focus on our guests and the apple festival.”
“I’d rather talk about last night.”
“I’m not ready. I need time.”
He stood. “Okay. I’ll go change, so we can be ready to go when they arrive.”
Breath returned to my chest. It was a warm fall day, although soon Sam would experience cold winter weather for the first time. This was the start of a new life for him. “I’ll tell the staff our plans . See you in a few minutes.”
He placed his hands in his pockets. “Clarissa...”
“Yeah?”
He gazed down at me, and my lips tingled. “You call all the shots, but please try to clue me in. I need you talking to me.”
“Okay. I’m trying.”
He left me, but I was aching with longing to repeat what had happened in the library that morning.
I closed my eyes and tried to center myself. I was an absolute disaster and had zero clue on how to proceed with anything.
I'd never been good at normalcy.
19
Clarissa
The second Sam and Aurora saw each other, the conversation jumped from math to plays to cartoons. I backed off, remaining mostly silent. We took the limo to the apple festival, and my heart swelled that my son wasn’t shy around Aurora. They laughed a lot.
