Page 14 of Crying Shame
“Mom went to college?” Sam asked.
I buckled my seat beat and called to him. “It… it was a lifetime ago. Let’s not talk about that anymore.”
“You’re right,” Elon said.
Then he checked to make sure Sam was buckled in.
The coaster started rolling. I closed my eyes. I hated these rides. My heart raced, and I clutched the handlebar as I imagined tumbling to my death. I couldn’t breathe, but I heard Sam laughing. Every day at the park, thousands of people enjoyed the roller coaster, but for me, this was torture.
The ride finally stopped. I cranked open my eyes and forced a smile. Sam needed me, so I'd kept my fears to myself for years now.
My legs trembled as I stepped off the ride and joined Elon and Sam. As we walked away from the ride, Elon offered his arm. I hugged my waist and shook my head. He couldn’t know how I felt. No one could.
“I have a question that needs answering," Elon said. "I was thinking that we should return to my New York apartment right away, but maybe you’d like to pick which of my homes we’ll stay at.”
For a Norouzi, "apartment" meant a penthouse condo with stellar views. I'd been at a few of the Norouzi properties the few times my parents took me with them to help serve the family. Most of the time, though, they left me alone in the empty room in the servants’ quarters.
I crossed my arms and acted like I really believed I had a choice. “What are the options?”
Sam was tugging at my hand, leading us toward a wizard shop.
“My preferences are Miami; Fairfield, Connecticut; Pitkin, Colorado; Westchester, New York—”
“Like the X-Men?” Sam interrupted excitedly.
Elon nodded. “I think Westchester is Sam’s vote.”
I remembered that the old homes in Westchester were hard to clean. I met Elon’s gaze and asked, “What else?”
He continued, “San Mateo, Martin, or Santa Clara, all in California—“
“Stop.” I unwrapped the fingers I'd curled into fists. I loved the backyards and quieter pace of suburban life. I lifted my chin and decided to pretend I mattered. “I always enjoyed visiting your parents' estate in Connecticut. It always felt like a good place to raise a family.”
Elon nodded. “Then you’ll love my house in Fairfield. Let’s go there.”
We went into the wizard shop, and Sam asked for the wizarding wand experience that involved a magical wand. Elon agreed to buy him one.
I’d promised myself that I would let Elon spoil Sam today, so I said nothing and bounced on my feet. Elon hadn’t said no to my suggestion that we go to Connecticut. I wasn’t sure why that was. I decided to push and see what happened. “Text your secretary the plan to sign up Sam for the school in Fairfield.”
He took out his phone and smiled. “You can still read my mind.”
“I could never do that,” I said.
We entered the shop where the wizard chooses the wand. The doors closed behind us, and the lights went down. I tensed as not being able to see in the dark usually terrified me.
The lighted screen of Elon’s phone read Message Sent. He put his phone back in his pocket and said, “You’ve forgotten. It will take time.”
“Okay, lover boy,” I said and settled on watching the show.
He froze, and I cringed. The teasing words had just popped out of my mouth, words I’d said the first time he kissed me. I'd been a mess then, but those moments with Elon that I’d forced myself to forget were what got me through the tough times.
Elon, the only person I’d ever enjoyed sex with, was beside me again. I wasn’t sure what would happen next, but Sam was safer as a Norouzi. That was all that mattered.
5
Clarissa
Sam slept with his head against my shoulder for most of the evening plane ride. He was tired out from a hot day in the parks. I kept quiet during the night flight, only starting to breathe easier when we got far from the life I’d built in Florida.
