Page 40 of Handsome
Joshua took longer than usual to settle down this morning, which meant he was hungry, so I changed his diaper again and gave him more.
Finally the little guy calmed down, and as I rocked him, his little eyes closed.
Cyrus came in and said “avocados,” which made me laugh. I’d never thought of food as code.
Now I’d eat my toast and hope no one around here thought I was difficult.
He stared at me as I put his son down, and I swear he was riveted on my ass. I shivered, convinced I didn’t deserve this attention. But I kept my mouth shut while I walked to him, with sparks zipping all through me.
Once I closed the door, so Joshua wasn’t waked up by sun, he said, “We’ll be at the island for dinner.”
Now I was near him, my skin was all jumpy with desire, but I avoided his gaze and said, “It will be nice to walk on land.”
“You don’t like the ship?” he asked as he held the door for me.
We went outside, where there was a table. The tea was there this time, without the coffee, and not as many options, which meant there'd be less uneaten waste.
I trekked to my seat, and my skin felt like ice cubes were running up and down my spine, cooling me off when I was burning.
I didn’t know what I’d say but I took my seat and waited for him to join me. Then I said, “No, I love it. And Joshua loves it, though I worry that he might be sleeping too much.”
He put his napkin on his lap, and I did the same as he said, “You worry about him. It’s why I brought you here.”
Right. This was work. I breathed easier. Work and helping my nephew settle into his new princely life.
I’d have to leave. Cyrus would find someone who truly loved him, so we’d never work out. I almost smiled as I said, “It’s easy with Joshua. His demands are clear and easy to fulfill.”
We added our favorite things to our toast, and I put cheese and avocados on mine.
Cyrus added walnuts to his, and I decided to top off my breakfast with walnuts, too.
My savored the deliciousness of this simple food and then said, “Well, he’s sleeping. And I’m starving.”
“Okay,” he said, and we both ate. He poured the tea, though I let mine cool down.
Once we were nearly done, I had gotten myself so wound up and torn about what to do that I couldn’t face him. My pulse quaked with longings, but then I asked, “Does the staff have secrets passages, or do they just creep around the outside of the ship so they won't disturb you?”
He laughed and shook his head. “They have their own paths throughout the ship, and their own private quarters.”
It would be nice to work for a rich man… I stopped the thought since I was already doing that, but temporarily. I sipped my delicious tea and then said, “You've taken to being a dad so easily.”
He gazed at me, and my gut twisted. I wanted what I shouldn’t have.
He nodded and said, “I’m glad you think so.” He gulped his tea and then asked, “After breakfast, do you want to dance?”
“No, that’s not good.” I said quickly.
The way he'd held me close and I stripped for him invaded my thoughts.
If he touched me, I’d forget my rules.
And that was bad.
He tilted his head and asked, “No?”
I gulped the tea. I had no right to have nice things like him, or this lovely, luxurious journey, and followed the logic of that, I said, “I think I should stay in and not get burned.”
He took a deep breath and stood. “I can show you the library.”
