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When I found her clit, she cried out, “Please!” and her eyes rolled back in her head while she lost herself in her orgasm.

I continued to stroke her center. Her eyes were hazy with desire, but then a baby’s cry called out. She fluttered her eyes and said, “Don’t stop.”

Then Joshua’s voice echoed on her phone too.

She struggled to settle her breathing back to normal, while I was hard and ready to claim her entirely, but I stood and fixed my pants and said, “That’s our cue.”

She reached for her pants and underwear, though I got down on my knees grabbed them first as she said, “You’re right. We should go.”

“Let me help you.” I held her panties for her.

She let me, and I kissed the apex of her thighs as I tugged them up. She sighed and said, “I wish…”

Joshua’s cries grew more intense. I helped her into her pants and said, “We’ll be on the island tomorrow.”

I stilled for a moment because I’d wanted to hold her all night and needed to rid myself of the hope, but then nodded and said, “Okay, then until tomorrow. Good night.”

“Good night.”

And she rushed to care for my son. I needed her in our lives because she fit in perfectly.

I closed my eyes and told the night sky, “I need a fucking freezing shower.”

I waited until I was in total control, and then went to my room to relieve myself.

17

Sarah

The sway of the ship was the only reason I slept at all. The sun rising outside my round window told me that, one, it was morning, and two, I’d have to face him again.

My body still ached with need. The sheets didn’t hide me. I reached inside and brushed against myself where he touched me last night.

No man had ever, ever.

Heat rose in my cheeks and all the way out to my ears.

I wanted him. If Joshua hadn’t cried, for the first time in my life I would have experienced what it was like to be fuckingspecialto someone.

Oh, but that was such a lie.

This was a one-way street to disaster.

His kiss had been branding and aching with need.

It was time to quit.

If I didn’t, I’d break.

And this time, with him, I’d never recover.

I cleaned myself while the baby still slept and wondered how Cyrus had managed to maintain such control.

My ex and every other man I ever met would have simply taken more than I offered.

Cyrus was in his soul honorable, and never thought about his own pleasure first.

In other words, he was perfect—but I wasn’t. Far from it.