Page 17 of Cocky M.D.
Still, my entire body must have been red. I’d never been so caught up in dirty thoughts. I imagined myself being completely impaled by him. I sipped my wine and whispered, “It sounds… fun, but it feels like my life is ping-ponging. I’ll come back with a bag in the morning and see how I feel then.”
He whispered in my ear, not caring that his son was with us, “You know you want to be here.”
“Yeah,” I said, and steam must have been coming out of my skin.
He sat back like he’d suddenly remembered we weren’t alone, and I felt a sense of loss. “I’ll have everything arranged to get whatever you need from your apartment so that’s not on your mind.”
It was almost as if I could hear wheels screeching on the pavement as my heart pounded. Rain tapped the window like it was reminding me I needed to be calm, and I said quickly, “I can go there myself tomorrow.”
“We can all go tomorrow and direct the staff to move whatever you need.”
I swallowed and put my nearly full glass back down, as I didn’t need wine to affect any decision with Johnny. “Don’t you have to go to the hospital?”
“No.” He reached under the table and squeezed my knee. “I’ll be here with you.”
I trembled. Part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind. “Sounds nice.”
Bradley pushed his chair back suddenly and asked, “Can I be excused?”
Johnny’s lips curved into a smile as he said, “Sure. See you tomorrow, Bradley.”
With his hand on me, I could hardly breathe. I moved away and gently grabbed Bradley’s hand when he came to me and hugged me. “We’ll both see you soon. Sleep tight, and don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
He squeezed me tightly and said, “I love you, Miss Steel, even if you are strange sometimes.”
My heart melted. Bradley was a good kid, and he’d become mine to help. He’d played a part in my change of heart. “Olivia.”
“Olivia,” he said and waved.
We waited till the pitter-patter of his feet was gone and picked up our glasses. I took one more sip and whispered, “Your son is one of the reasons I wanted to marry you.”
Johnny put his glass down and said, “I figured he was the main reason.”
“He is,” I said quickly. I wished I weren’t so jumpy. “And for you too?”
He motioned for us to get up. I held on to the table for a second but then stood as well.
“He’s number one. But the fact that I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone so fast also plays a huge part.”
Johnny wrapped his arms around me, and my lips tingled for his kiss, but I pressed them together and said, “I see.”
He led me back into the living room, where we could see bolts of lightning in the distance in the dark sky. “So let me ask now. Do you want me as badly as I want you?”
Nodding, I pushed my hair behind my ear and wished I had a better answer. “I’ve never been good at jumping into anything.”
He led me to the liquor cabinet, which was stocked with everything, then said, “You did. Why are you stalling when we both want each other?”
I shook my head to decline a drink and walked to the window to watch the water hit the glass. “You noticed that about me?”
I knew he was staring at my ass. I didn’t need to turn to see.
He came to my side and cupped my elbow. “I see you, but I want to see far more.”
Wanting him was a given. But if I gave in so fast, I might lose the ability to really get to know him without getting too deeply involved.Have I given up that right, since I’m wearing this ring on my finger?Indecision tore at me like paper being ripped out of a book, but I tried to speak the truth when I said, “Maybe it’s fast and reckless, but when you kiss me, I’m… transported into someone else’s body. And when we speak, I’m different.”
His brown eyes darkened, but he didn’t kiss me. “Are you saying you’re in love with me after we first met?”
I looked around the room, at the white walls, the mirrors, and back at the window, avoiding his piercing question. “No. Yes. I don’t know.” Then I pressed my hand on his muscular chest, and it was like a spark ran through me, and I met his gaze. “It sounds crazy, but if I walk away from you and don’t find out whatever this is between us, then I’m a fool.”
