Page 48 of Powerful Prince
She threw her hands in the air. “You were, though. With Nicole.”
If I was in love like I thought, then I needed a plan. However, my sister didn’t need to know how I felt. So I said, “Maybe I was calmer with Nicole around, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
She rolled her eyes at me like she was sixteen and had just been told she needed to attend Father’s cotillion in the rose gardens instead of her school dance. Then she said, “Or it means you found your other half.”
I needed to lay my cards on the table and tell Nicole, then, and not my sister. No one else needed to hear it until I was sure. I said, “That’s a fairy tale.”
She rubbed her temples like I’d infuriated her, just as I had when I tossed her favorite doll out the turret window when we were little. “Is telling yourself that making you feel better?”
I walked her to the door and said, “Let me go to sleep. It’s late, Emily.”
Sleep wasn’t on my plate, but I couldn’t wake Nicole in the middle of the night without a plan, either.
Emily went with me, but said, “I’ll be back in the morning with Harry, and hopefully, we’ll have good news. Though you really should just go and tell her how you feel.”
She’d read my mind, but I just helped her off the ship and said, “Goodbye.”
She jumped to the dock, then turned back. “You’re only sending me away because I’m right.”
I waved and waited for her to leave my dock. Then, I decided the first thing I needed to do was shower. If I was going to make a fool of myself, and on the off chance she said yes, she’d not want to kiss me until I was cleaned up from my evening workout and then roaming around the ship. At least no flights to America happened till the morning, and I only needed ten minutes. If she didn’t love me, then I’d have to accept that. So perhaps the shower was to wash away that thought, too.
Chapter 17
Nicole
The crescent moon and my evening yoga and meditation hadn’t cleared my thoughts. Not entirely. I sat at my computer, where I usually poured my heart out to people I had never met in my life, but no words came out. My fingers just sat on the keyboard. I couldn’t press a button to make words that made sense.
So I closed the screen, and closed my eyes to wish that, somehow, I could relax.
However, my mind’s eye kept conjuring the image of Ryder and how he’d walked away.
I’d created that scene, and the pain was mine to bear as my reality took shape out of my crazy thoughts.
I had pushed the best man I’d ever met in my life out the door … because of my laptop and the years I’d spent taking solace in the crowd.
A knock at the door jolted me out of my skin and I jumped up, wishing Ryder was here. When I opened it, however, my sister’s floral perfume hit me and popped that thought balloon. I waved Stephanie in and she said, “You’re still unresponsive and sulking, Sis.”
I popped my head out. Olivia wasn’t there, so I closed the door and said, “I’m not sulking.”
She stepped over my blue yoga mat and sat on the couch as she said, “Right, so you can talk about what happened with you and Ryder?”
I crouched down and rolled up the mat as I said, “What can I say?”
She crossed her legs. “How about why you called off your wedding?”
I took my mat and tucked it back in my bag. I avoided looking at my sister as I fastened it, and said, “I … the king wants control over my blog.”
She let out a small laugh. “Let me get this straight. You said ‘no’ to the love of your life because you love blogging your every thought?”
I stood up and met her gaze. Ryder was the best man I’d ever met on the planet. I’d had countless offers from men through the years, but he was the only one that made my knees melt like that. He didn’t love me, though. I was just a convenient way for him to gain his independence. I ignored the goosebumps on my arms and took the seat beside her.
“I … that sounds really bad.”
She pivoted toward me and her eyes were full of doubt as she asked, “And you enjoy taking pictures of your life from sunup till sundown?”
I massaged the back of my head. “I get paid well.”
She shook her head like she knew I wasn’t answering her fully. “But you’ve been lackluster lately, and just trying to ignore your need for a change. You’ve talked about writing a book, but you haven’t done anything about it. And I’ve never seen you happy like you are with Ryder.”
