I looked back at the monitor and counted my own heartbeats echoing in my ears. Could they beat for him?Please, please, baby boy. Please be okay.
Silence.
It felt like my whole world was slipping away. He was healthy. How could he just...stop? I felt the trickle of a tear run down my cheek. Now I was begging for his kicks. Begging for any sign that his tiny heart hadn't given out.Please.
"Oh, there we are," Dr. Nelson said.
I breathed out a sigh of relief and let my head flop down onto the pillow.
James placed a kiss on the back of my hand.
"A nice steady heartbeat. The baby is fine." He removed the wand from my stomach and handed me a towel to wipe off the jelly-like substance left behind.
"So he's okay?" I asked.
The doctor nodded. "You're both perfectly healthy."
"The nurse that came in said her heart rate and blood pressure were elevated. She mentioned that Penny might need medication for that."
"Well, that nurse was mistaken. Any medication we put her on would be dangerous for the baby. Everything is fine."
The word fine was starting to sound jarring to my ears.
"Dangerous for the baby, but how dangerous is this condition for my wife without treatment?"
Dr. Nelson looked down at his clipboard. "You're still taking those vitamins I gave you, right Penny?"
I nodded.
"I think that's enough. But let's double the dose every day just to be safe."
"You think?" James released my hand. "Can I please have a word with you in the hall?"
"Very well." The doctor took his clipboard and tucked it into his side. "I think maybe I issued bed rest prematurely. Go out and get your mind off everything, Penny. Sitting around thinking about it isn't helping anyone." He lightly patted my shin. His hand was so cold that it made me shiver. That was one of the things I disliked about Dr. Nelson. His hands were always freezing. And he always wore black scrubs instead of the pale pastel colors all the other hospital staff wore. I had been thinking about that Harry Potter movie that had scared Scarlett so much that Dr. Nelson was actually starting to resemble Professor Snape. And it wasn't just the black scrubs. It was the long gray hair that was always slightly messy looking. And the prominent nose. He really did look like an older version of the actor that played Professor Snape. I almost laughed out loud, envisioning him in a robe instead of scrubs. For some reason, it made me miss Dr. Jones. And his warm hands. And kind smile. And blue scrubs.
I shook the thought away. Dr. Nelson was great. I shouldn't have compared him to my last OB-GYN. Besides, I couldn't go back to Dr. Jones. He was retired. And James was thinking of suing him. God, I really hoped he didn't go through with that.
I watched the two of them walk out into the hall. As soon as the door closed, I could hear their heated exchange through the thin walls of the hospital room. I climbed out of the bed and started getting dressed, trying to ignore their words, but I couldn't.
"She said she had chest pains," James said.
"Which is ridiculous. You can't feel a heart murmur getting worse."
"Getting worse? Who said anything about it getting worse? Is the leak growing?"
"Mr. Hunter, it isn't getting worse. It would still be classified as moderate. I just meant that the condition can't be physically felt."
"Are you calling my wife a liar?"
"No, I didn't..."
"If she said her heart is hurting, then her fucking heart is hurting."
"And I just told you that such a thing is theoretically impossible."
"So you are calling her a liar."
"I'm just saying that bored housewives sometimes need attention!" Dr. Nelson snapped.