Page 195 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 1
"I couldn't stop, Penny. Whenever I was able to pull myself out of one thing, I just moved on to the next." His words hung in the air. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not addicted to you. I'm not going to move on. I need you in my life. I need you, Penny."
He needs me.All of his words now seemed to have a double meaning. But didn't I need him too? When he didn't talk to me for weeks I was a complete mess. My world had become isolated and cold. And I had hated it. I hated my life without him.
"Penny, I've made so many mistakes. But I was young and stupid."
"You're still young."
"Okay. But I'm not stupid anymore." He gave me a forced smile.
"Addicts are like...it's not something that goes away, is it?"
"No, it's not."
"So, how do you control it?" I felt stupid asking these questions. The age gap between us suddenly felt larger than before. He was an adult, with adult problems. All I was worried about was my next Stat test. And now him.
He lowered his eyebrows slightly. "My therapist helps me with that."
"You have a therapist?"
"I do." His eyes searched my face. "He doesn't think I'm addicted to you either."
"You talk about me?"
"Yes."
"He knows that you're dating a student?"
"Doctor patient confidentiality. He did advise me against it. I think he's glad that I ignored his advice though."
"Why?"
"I'm happier when we're together. Everyone can see that."
It was weird, standing in the rain so far apart. It made me feel so separate from him. I didn't like that feeling. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because I liked the way you looked at me. Like I was strong and in control. It made me feel like I could be those things for you. I thought everyone could see my demons when they looked in my eyes. You never did. You just saw me. I didn't want that to change."
"I don't think any differently of you." His words made me want to cry. I didn't have much self confidence. I thought he was theopposite of me. But we were more alike than I thought. He was so broken. I didn't want him to feel that way.
"You do. You're looking at me right now like I'm weak."
"I don't think that you're weak. You're incredibly strong for overcoming something like that."
He put his hands in his pockets. We were both completely drenched. He was staring at me. The distance between us was unbearable.
"I don't want you to leave me," he said slowly. "But if this is too much..."
"No. James." I closed the distance between us. "I'll never let you go."
"I'm not addicted to you."
"You keep saying that. And all I can think about is how rude it sounds." I smiled at him.
"I don't understand how you can keep choosing me. I'm..."
"Perfect. Everything that you've been through has made you who you are. And I love the man I see in front of me. I love you so much."
It started raining harder. "I'm divorced." He almost had to yell it over the rain.
